Parenting For Him

Parenting Autistic Children

2011-10-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Here is an article I'd like to share from Technorati.com authored by Jeremy Robb, with insight into parenting autistic children. I find it enlightening. I hope that by sharing, you too will find comfort and support:

Parenting is a scary business. It's full of stress as you worry about how your child will grow up and impact the world. Some parents take it easy and just expect their children to do well. When they don't, they look for scapegoats for causes and blame the world (or at least their teachers). Other parents are the diligent type, dedicated to giving their children the best of everything so they will excel in the world and bring honor and glory to the family name. Either way, there is stress, and it's put some people off having children at all, let alone more than one.

Autism is also very scary, in that no one knows what causes it or how it impacts the child's learning. Children can range on the Spectrum from very low functional (highly autistic with low IQ) to very high functioning (often Aspergers, with high IQ and mild Autism), so advice from parenting doesn't work. Generalities can be given, but the devil is truly in the details as you as a parent work to find a way to connect with your child consistently.

Other parents don't really know what to say when you explain the head-butting, hand flapping behaviors as ways your child expresses his emotions. Many offer suggestions, help, criticisms, and even sympathy, but only you as a parent can really connect with your own child. Parents who are truly interested look for the rules you govern your child, and try to emulate them. Some parents in an educational or religious environment, will attempt to apply their own methods in contrast to yours, causing confusion and regression in some behaviors.

To be a parent of a child with Autism is to parent from day to day, looking for every possible sign of success, and expecting regression when it comes. Instead of focusing on long-term plans like financial success or brilliant educational or recreational accomplishments for your child, you look for a successful day without spilling food or drink on the floor on purpose, dumping the dog's water into his food bowl, or pulling out all the marshmallows from the cereal box.

To parent a child with Autism is to place all the anxious future planning of traditional parenting into your daily routine. Effort cannot be diluted with incidentals about which Ivy League schools you want your child to attend when you are still focused on their using utensils while eating. Athletic scholarships are the furthest from your mind while trying to teach your child the necessary hand-eye coordination to write his name. It's too much effort to think beyond the day, the daily successes, and looking after the little things while hoping beyond hope it's true that the big things will actually take care of themselves.

It's scary, not having a well-planned life. I'm the type that likes to have things planned out in sequence in order to provide a smooth transition between two states. With Autism, you don't have that luxury. Development depends to so many variables that having future plans beyond perhaps special things like vacations have too many variables to make a successful plan.

Four Key Parenting Areas From Simplicity Parenting By Kim John Payne

2011-10-18T19:57:00.000-07:00

In this parenting book, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids, by author - family counselor and Waldorf educator Kim John Payne, M.Ed.Payne identifies four key parenting areas that can be simplified:

• Home environment: We need to “de-clutter” our kid’s environment. Children have too many toys, books, gadgets, clothes, etc. crammed into their bedrooms. Having less will actually enable them to focus and enjoy things more. De-cluttering opens up space for creativity. Having fewer toys, for instance, increases the chances for imagination because the “one toy becomes many things as opposed to many toys becoming only one thing each.”

• Kid’s schedule: Remember that parenting is not a contest. Carefully consider the pros and cons of organized sports and other “enrichment” activities. Too many activities may not only overwhelm children, it may also limit their ability to motivate and direct themselves. Give them breaks and time to play on their own. Realize that “boredom is the precursor to creativity.”

• Rhythms and rituals: We need to put more predictability and stability in our children’s lives. “Predictability (routines) and transparency (knowing the day’s plan) are soothing pressure valves for children.” Time for regular family gatherings where the whole family can relax and freely talk to one other without distractions, such as evening mealtimes, should be protected.

• Filter out the adult world: We should minimize the exposure of our children to adult concerns and inappropriate adult conversations. What we talk about affects the mood that we create in our homes. Payne suggests that before we speak in front of our children, we need to pause and ask ourselves three simple questions: “Is it true, kind, and necessary?” Filtering out the adult world also means scaling back on media (especially electronic media) in order to limit the endless and often inappropriate deluge of information and stimulation that our kids are subjected to.

Thoughts On Children - Free Ebook

2011-10-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

As published by Ploughbooks.co.uk, comes Thoughts on Children.

It is sometimes said that each child is a thought in the mind of God. But even if we believe this, and approach the children entrusted to us with reverence, we may often feel helpless-whether in the face of a two-year-old’s tantrum or a teenager’s silence.

In this little book, two fathers (themselves a father and son) share their thoughts on the essence of bringing up children, as well as some helpful practical advice. Both lived in Germany more than a hundred years ago, in an era when parents and teachers tended to be overly strict; today most tend to be very lenient. All the same, there is plenty in what they say that is timeless.

The Authors

Johann Christoph Blumhardt (1805-1880) had eight children, his son Christoph Friedrich Bumhardt (1842-1919) had eleven.

How Much Does it Cost to Raise A Child These Days? $222K!

2010-06-12T02:17:00.000-07:00

I just read the most amazing yet freakishly accurate estimation in NPR.org of how much it is to raise a child these days. According to a government research just recently released, a middle-income, two-parent family will spend $222,360, on average, to raise a baby born in 2009.

Yes, a number like that screams false precision. Still, some of the broad outlines that go into the estimate are pretty interesting:

Housing is the most expensive part of raising a kid. It accounts for 31 percent of the cost, followed by childcare and education (17 percent) and food (16 percent).
The annual cost rises a bit as the child gets older — from less than $12,000 per year for a baby to more than $13,000 for a teenager.
Among urban areas, the Northeast is the most expensive region to raise a child, and the South is the cheapest. Rural areas, which are lumped into a single category, are even cheaper.
The cost per child for a two-child family is 25 percent lower than the cost per child for a one-child family.

Researchers broke household income into three levels: Less than $56,670; $56,670 to $98,120; and more than $98,120.

People in the lower-income group spend 25 percent of their before-tax income on a child; those in the middle-income group spend 16 percent; and those in the higher-income group spend 12 percent. But in absolute terms, spending increases with income.

The figures are adjusted for inflation, and costs are calculated through age 17.

Autism and Your Marriage

2010-05-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Contrary to popular belief that a special child in a family can typically cause so much stress in the relationship of the parents that this might cause them to break up, recent research results from Kennedy Krieger Institute presented during International Meeting for Autism Research found that a child’s autism has no effect on family structure.

This article from Times of India outlines the results quite nicely

Brian Freedman, lead author of the study and clinical director of the Center for Autism and Related Disorders at Kennedy Krieger Institute, found that 64 per cent of children with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) belong to a family with two married biological or adoptive parents, compared with 65 per cent of children who do not have an ASD.

"In the work I’ve done with children with autism, I’ve come across many couples who quote this 80 per cent divorce rate to me. They don’t know what the future holds for their child, and feel a sense of hopelessness about the future of their marriage as well – almost like getting a diagnosis of autism and a diagnosis of divorce at the same time," he said.

Researchers sought to examine the incidence more scientifically. Using data from the 2007 National Survey of Children''s Health*, they examined a nationally representative sample of 77,911 children, ages 3 to 17.

Freedman said that their studies found that families with autistic children reported more stress than say, mothers with growing children or children who had other disabilities like Down syndrome.

"While there are indeed stressors in parenting a child with autism, it doesn’t necessarily result in the family breaking up more often than would occur in another family," said Dr. Freedman. "And as someone who works with a team of health care professionals to treat and provide support for families of children with autism, it’s important for us to make sure our patients’ parents know that, and for our fellow clinicians to provide reliable, evidence-based information about the divorce rate among this population as well."

"I would hope this research drives home the importance of providing support to these families, and letting them know that their relationships can survive these stressors," he said. "We should continue to provide training for parents so that they can work through the stressors in their relationship to keep their family together and have a successful marriage."

I think overall, having and maintaining a marriage is difficult enough as it is without a child - let alone a special child. But I think the strength of the relationship is not and should not be dependent on the child.

The stress may be very real, but so can love.

Spanking NOT Effective?

2010-05-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

I think the issue on spanking is still debatable no matter what anyone says. I believe if you spare the rod, you spoil the child. But still this has to be done with the utmost caution and care.

Here are some research results though that prove that it's not effective

"Spanking is not a very effective strategy for children," says Alan E. Kazdin, Ph. D., author of The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child, and former president of the American Psychological Association.

According to some studies, more than half of all U.S. parents condone spanking as a regular form of punishment for small children. Other studies have shown spanking to be harmful to children.

Research indicates that the rate of misbehaviour does not decline; in fact, the problem behaviour returns even if the parent escalates the punishment. The key issue is that moderate-to-severe physical punishment has all sorts of long-term negative consequences for the child, including academic performance and mental and physical health. A parent's stress level can contribute to child abuse.

Research on very mild, infrequent spanking is inconclusive. When a parent moves beyond moderate or severe physical punishment, there are all sorts of negative consequences: educational delays, psychological disorders and physical disorders.

Thanks to the parents and grandparents who shared a kid tip with us this week.

Calm timeouts for children

I use an hourglass-type egg timer to keep track of timeouts for my younger children (ages two to three). Instead of crying and complaining like they used to during timeouts, they enjoy watching the sand trickle through the tiny opening. For my older kids, I use an inexpensive ($10 to $12) electronic timer. They also seem to enjoy watching the timer count down to their freedom.

-- D.C., Ogden, Utah

Kimora Lee Simons Dishes Out Parenting Advice - Reliable?

2010-05-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

Found some advice on E! Online from reality star Kimora lee Simons on single parenting. Well it was addressed to moms and beggars can't be choosers -- take time for yourself.

"It doesn't always have to be going to the spa because maybe we can't afford that, but take some time for yourself," said while promoting her Style Network show Life in the Fab Lane.

And that means closing the door when you're in the bathroom, according to her...

"Moms always have the kids walking in when we're on the toilet," she explained. "They're like 'Mom, let me see! What's that smell?' Close the door...take a moment, light a candle, medidate."

Kimora also dished that it's a turn on to have a guy who's into diaper duty...

"He's very hands on," she said of her "hubby" Djimon Hounson, who is father to baby Kenzo. "It's so romantic and sexy to have a guy who changes diapers in the middle of the night!"

While first time father Djimon is very protective, Kimora says she takes a more relaxed approached to parenting. "I tell him 'I've done this before. I have a track record!", she says, referring to her daughters Ming and Aoki.

But there's one thing she won't allow her children to do (unlike some other reality show moms): "You won't see my girls on the stripper pole!"

Protect Your Children From Sex Offenders - Be Vigilant

2010-03-25T05:01:00.000-07:00

Picked this up from Inquirer.net, I think it's a good article for parents to know & be vigilant about the safety of their children.

There are a lot of sexual predators out there. Read the complete article here

International police agency Interpol launched Monday a "most wanted" site for suspected child sex offenders across the Group of Eight (G8) most industrialized nations.

The "G8 Wanted Child Sex Offender" site, accessible via Interpol's homepage
(www.interpol.int), draws together information from G8 members the United States , Canada, Britain, France , Germany , Italy , Japan and Russia.

It includes photographs of people wanted on charges of abuse and enables the public to access to information about how to report missing sex offenders who may have crossed borders.

"It aims to identify and apprehend wanted child sex offenders from across G8 countries by bringing together initiatives relating to child sex offenders from all G8 countries where they exist," a statement on the site says.

The project was launched in collaboration with Britain 's Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre, said Interpol, based in Lyon in France.

Here's the site

Freddie Prinze Jr. on Parenting and Diaper Change

2010-03-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

According to an MSN article, Freddie Prinze Jr. can change a diaper in less than a minute. Well those aren't so popular now are they? Looks like Buffy the Vampire Slayer's

The '24' actor - who has four-month-old daughter Charlotte Grace with wife Sarah Michelle Geller - has amazed himself with how well he is able to deal with her soiled nappies.

He explained: 'I'm good at it. I'm fast. I can time myself, 46 seconds.'

However, the 33-year-old star admits there are other aspects of looking after Charlotte that he struggles with, especially when it comes to taking her out in public.

He told US talk show host George Lopez: 'Diaper, that's it, that's all I got. I just tried to work the car seat. You gotta like adjust the seat belts. 'Adjust the seat belt' is so much more complicated than what my brain can handle.'

Who Would Have Thought Playboy Model Jenny McCarthy Would End Up Fighting For Autism?

2010-03-06T16:35:00.000-08:00

After a heart wrenching battle to get her son Evan properly diagnosed after he fell terribly ill with seizures at the age of two, to her son’s devastating diagnosis of autism and her arduous journey to find answers and get him healed, Jenny McCarthy has discovered her life’s work. She is determined to use her celebrity to bring attention to a condition that has reached epidemic proportions among pre-school age children: rapidly rising occurrences of autism.

Autism is a disturbing Neuro Immune disorder, and one that is shrouded in some mystery and often misunderstood, even by the medical community. Autism severely debilitates a child’s ability to relate to and become properly socialized with other children as well as adults. Autistic children have extremely stunted language and auditory processing abilities, they lack the ability to communicate both verbally and non-verbally and they do not know how to give and receive affection as “typical” children do. Children suffering from autism can become trapped in their own little world if they do not receive early intervention and treatment.

Last 2009, Jenny McCarthy she released her fifth book — co-authored with autism specialist Dr. Jerry Kartzinel, titled Healing and Preventing Autism. The book is awfully smart when it comes to hardheaded advice for families trying to heal — or at least draw out — an autistic child. But McCarthy goes soft when she starts exploring the causes of autism, making the usual charges against the usual suspects, including nutrition, environmental toxins and, as always, vaccines. McCarthy and TIME science editor Jeffrey Kluger sparred over the causes of autism and the safety of vaccines.

Read more from Time

Ten things you never knew you could do with one hand

2009-07-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

1. text-message

2. make spaghetti

3. feed a pet

4. wrap a present using a mini-shopping bag, tissue, and a stick-on bow

5. brush an older child's hair

6. fold baby clothes and put back in drawers

7. repot a plant

8. write thank-you notes

9. whip up a smoothie

10. tend to husband's personal needs (if you know what we mean)

from CNN

Brutally Honest ABC's of Parenting

2009-06-13T18:06:00.000-07:00

I found this on Wales Online Lifestyle. Parenting isn't all cute and cuddly all the time. Here's the honest truth. It's quite funny but also very true:

A for Absolute Beginners – “There’s no training or trial period for being a parent, and you can’t transfer to a more suitable position in Accounts.”

B for Bedtime – “In reality it’s the excruciating last hurdle between you and a few longed-for hours of freedom.”

C for Car Journeys – “The only good thing about a car journey is that your children are physically, but legally, restrained.”

One of Parenting's Small Joys

2009-04-17T07:17:00.000-07:00

Here's a funny video called Hula Hoop Baby where a toddler tries to work the hula hoop.

Now Accepting: Strick Parents And Rebellious Kids

2009-02-27T04:31:00.000-08:00

Who would have thought parenting would become a reality tv show?
After Big Brother and other niche series like the Bachelor and the Apprentice I guess it was the natural evolution of things. Why not target the parents as well?

Parents: how to apply?

PARENTS, ARE YOU AMERICA’S BEST?

If so, we're searching for families to host a teenager in their home for up to one week. If you’re proud of your firm family structure, and want to show off your parenting skills, the casting team would like to hear from you!

This is an opportunity for you to show other families how to raise their teenagers the right way.

There are four ways to apply:

1. Online: Download an application HERE. Then, CLICK HERE to submit your finished application.
2. Fax: Download an application HERE. Fax your application, as well as a few recent photos, to 323-904-4681.
3. Phone: Call 1-888-41-teens (1-888-418-3367)
4. Mail: Download an application HERE, and mail it to:

“Parents” New TV Show Casting
3800 Barham Boulevard, Suite 410
Los Angeles, CA 90068

If you have any questions you can email us at: teens@RicochetTelevision.com

or call us at: 1-888-41-teens (1-888-418-3367)
You can download the application in a Word Format, PDF format, or a Wordpad Format.

For teens: how to apply?

ARE YOU TIRED OF YOUR PARENTS' RULES?

Ever hear your parents say, “if you don’t like my rules, try living somewhere else”? Here’s your chance! We are searching for teenagers 15-18 still in high school (with their parents’ approval) from every type of background to spend a few days and nights across the country with a family totally different from their own!

There are four ways to apply. Fill it out, and submit it one of the following ways:

1. Online: Download an application HERE. Then, CLICK HERE to submit your finished application
2. Fax: Download an application HERE. Fax your application, as well as a few recent photos, to 323-904-4681.
3. Phone: Call 1-888-41-teens (1-888-418-3367)
4. Mail: Download an application HERE, and mail it to:

“Parents” New TV Show Casting
3800 Barham Boulevard, Suite 410
Los Angeles, CA 90068

If you have any questions or difficulties opening or filling out the application, you can email us at: teens@RicochetTelevision.com

or call us at: 1-888-41-teens (1-888-418-3367)
You can download the application in a Word Format, PDF format, or a Wordpad Format.

via World's Strictest Parents

Did You Hear About The 13-Year-Old Dad?

2009-02-19T04:49:00.000-08:00

Have you heard about the 13-year-old dad Alfie Patten? I read this on the news just last weekend but since then apparently eight other boys have been claiming fatherhood to 15-year-old Chantelle Steadman rather controversial pregnancy

They might think this is their chance at 15 minutes of fame but this is just awful. Imagine kids being parents. I'm almost 30 and I'm still trying to get my mind around it.

The young mother gave birth to a 7-pound, 3-ounce girl named Maisie Roxanne last week in Eastbourne, on England's southern coast.

Alfie has publically called for a paternity test, after two teens, aged 16 and 14, also claimed they had sex with Chantelle around the time of Maisie's conception. His 45-year-old dad, Dennis, is reportedly considering having the results opened on television, the Daily Telegraph reports.

Just look at the picture of that kid, they look like siblings rather than parent and child. I hope the Brits look closely at what's happening and manage to address whatever is going on, because something is very wrong if a 13-year-old manages to impregnate a 15-year-old and manage to have such a publicized birth. Who's taking care of these kids?

“World Strictest Parents” Goes To The Philippines!

2009-02-19T04:42:00.000-08:00

Some parents give tough love—punishment like groundings, curfews and strict house rules. It worked on them; it should work for their children. Each new generation passes on to the next generation its lessons and its hang-ups, its values and its guilt, its character and its neurosis, its experiences and its traumas. But as English poet Samuel Butler noted in 1662, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” And nobody in the world wants spoiled children.

Believing that parenting is a 24-hour duty, British Broadcasting Corp. (BBC) conceptualized a reality show touted as “World Strictest Parents.” This television series is all about the values of parenting and cultural differences around the world. In each episode, two British teenagers are sent to live with a family abroad, to experience life in their country under their rules. On the pilot episode, the BBC sent spoiled teenagers to countries such as Jamaica, India, Ghana and South Africa.

“This idea has originated because we believe there is a crisis in parenting within the UK, which is having a detrimental impact on the present generation of British teenagers. All over our country adolescents lack respect for their elders, are not driven to succeed in school and do not aspire to better themselves. A culture now exists in the UK where adolescents believe that the world owes them a living, where they should be free to behave however they so wish, and are only concerned by the latest Hollywood trend or fashion accessory,” Donnovan Harris, casting producer of the show told The Manila Times.

“We strongly believe this culture has come about because parents in the UK try to give their children everything that they can, but unfortunately in a misguided way. They do not set boundaries, as they want their children to be ‘free.’ They do not enforce discipline or punishments, because they don’t want to be ‘strict.’ Parents don’t demand for their children to work hard, as so they wouldn’t experience any ‘pressure’. This style of parenting leads to over-indulgence, spoiled and careless kids. Although British parents mean well, they are failing to instill cultural values, work ethics and moral codes into their children,” Harris attests.

British parents are sometimes torn between being firm and giving in from the pressure from their children. When they try to discipline their kids, the common complaints are “my parents are too strict” and “they are so unfair.”

Now on its second series, the “World Strictest Parents” is searching for host family in the Philippines to be included in the reality show.

“London’s Twenty Twenty Television is looking for a professional and conservative Filipino family with teenagers aged 14 to 16, who would be willing to accommodate two teenagers for one week on June of this year and instill in them values and morality they demand from own children. The British teens will be expected to attend school, church, complete homework and help with household chores. They will not be guests in the house but new members of the family,” Harris explains.

“We want a very loving family that enjoys spending time with each other and has very clear and firm boundaries for their teenagers, and know how to deal with them when they cross it,” Harris adds.

Parenting is a challenging mission; World Strictest Parents hopes to get to the heart of this important and topical issue. This show allows every parent to explore different techniques in inculcating family values and structures from around the world. Can the UK learn from Filipino families and parents how to better raise their teenagers? Let’s all find out.

via The Manila Times

Parenting Tips from Gwyneth Paltrow

2009-02-06T06:52:00.000-08:00

I lifted this from the Guardian.co.uk website. It's really cool that they got some insights on parenting from people who are famous. These are style icons and hollywood celebrities, but it's nice to see how they grapple with parenting every now and then.

Here it is from Gwyneth Paltrow:

It has been my personal experience (both as a child and a mother) that children are like little radios picking up our frequency.

Tell us more ...

They know the real truth about what we are feeling versus what we are presenting

Scary little things, kids. They can see right through a bad performance. and it is incredibly isolating to find a major discrepancy between the two. Hours in the dark of a cinema ...When in my grown-up sphere

Sphere! Sphere! That's more like it.

I am confronted with disappointment or my own intolerance and a bad mood to boot, I often name what is going on (in other words, I say, "Mommy is having a hard day, and I am feeling upset") so that the very mundane human "bad" feelings do not turn into some grim phantom in the room with me.

So Hollywood stars talk about themselves in the third person when talking to their offspring, too.

Sometimes I don't have the maturity in the moment and when it fails me, I apologize at bedtime when my children and I are having a talk. I have felt my daughter's whole body sigh in relief when I have simply and very specifically voiced regretting my own behavior.

She's still stuck with the name Apple, though, isn't she?

Then it's over to the experts, who are each asked to answer the following long-winded question, posed by Gwynnie:

As a mother of two young children with lives as busy as my own, I am constantly trying to do more than I can achieve.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Sometimes with all of the multitasking, school runs, thank you notes and household responsibilities, not to mention my professional life, I feel like I am doing so many things, none of them as well as I could.

Housework?

My main priority, far and above anything else in my life, is my children, their happiness, stability, individualism and well-being. In your opinion, what are the most effective ways to be with one's children? What is most important in terms of their emotional and mental development? Are there specific things we can do to help them grow up to reach their full potential?

25 Random Things About Parenting Accdg To NJ's Joan Garry

2009-02-06T06:40:00.002-08:00

There's this 25 random things phenomenon that Facebook started and it's quite a fad these days. Here's Joan Garry, whose article I picked up on NJ.com ranting about what it is to be a parent.

1. The keys to getting babies to sleep at night include a lamp on a dimmer (too much light wakes them up) and a digital clock (so you and your spouse cannot argue about exactly how long the baby has been crying) .

2. When your young child asks you where he came from, start with offering her the location of the hospital where he was born. Might be all she is looking for.

3. When your teenager screams "I hate you," think about something else. I try to picture Julie Andrews dancing in her bedroom with the VonTrapp kids, yanking the curtains off the windows and singing "My Favorite Things."

4. When your son wants to give money to a homeless person, do not argue with him that the person may be a fraud. I did that once. It felt icky.

5. When arguing with your toddler about something insignificant - like when they are desperate for a pack of gum at CVS - just imagine that the dispute is about the car keys.

6. You have a right to pick through your kid's Halloween candy and pick out the stuff you like.

7. Never make your kid give up a 'blankie." No matter how disgusting it gets. I slept with a blankie and I still do. The world would be a calmer place if we all had blankies.

8. When screaming bloody murder at your kids in warmer weather, double check to see if the windows are open.

9. I used to complain about how I learned the birds/bees. It involved my mother showing me a box of Kotex. "Do you know what these are?" "Yes," I lied. That was pretty much it.

10. Having barely communicated anything to my kids about subject in #9 above (endlessly grateful for classroom sex-ed) I have a new found appreciation for my mother's approach.

11. Given the choice between saving money and spending money, children will always pick spending.

12. It takes so little to create a lifelong memory for your kids. Create a date night every other Thursday and do it for a few months. They will remember it as if you all did it for years and years.

13. Go to Netflix and put great old movies in the queue. Watch them with your kids. To this day, Paper Moon is still one of my 19 year old daughter's all time favorites.

14. See #13 above and do the same for your aging parent. Select either old movies or current movies that pass the "parenting" test (see #24). It can help get them through the cold weather and it can be nice to chat about the movie afterward. And even my mother has mastered a dvd player.

15. Make your kids think about charities. Give them the opportunity and responsibility to make a strategic decision to give money to a worthy cause. Give your kids some cash (even a little) for a birthday present with a list of 10 organizations. Ask him to pick 1 or 2. Make him do a little homework and make the selection.

16. Even if you can't stand the guidance counselor, try your very best to be nice. One nice handwritten thank you note for something (anything!) they did that was helpful will make a torturous process just a little easier.

17. When they fall down and go boom, don't gasp unless the situation calls for it.

18. Anyone can wipe your babies' bottom but only you can tell your teenagers they are being jerks.

19. If someone caught you on video, how would you feel? More importantly, would someone call Child Protective Services?

20. I was going to add something here about babysitters and/or au pairs but I couldn't narrow it down to one. Be on the lookout for "25 Random Things About Babysitters."

21. If anyone is able to find that clear distinction between helping someone with a term paper and actually doing the term paper,let me know

22. Go to imdb.com and click on "Parent Guide" on the sidebar when your kid indicates they want to see a particular film. You may not win the battle but if you cave, you'll understand just how irresponsible you are being.

23. Learn as early on as you possibly can what your kid's face and body looks like when they are not telling the truth.

24. If you can persuade your child to throw up at the registration desk at the emergency room, they will take you right in.

25. There is this foolproof way to make a baby or toddler weak with laughter. There is a sweet tickly spot just about the collar bone and below your jaw. One index finger in the right spot is all it takes. Have the video camera ready.

Tom Cruise on Parenting

2009-01-23T20:01:00.000-08:00

Tom Cruise said: "You just do the best you can."

"It's something where we're raising her to - you know... protecting her, but also you don't want her to be sheltered in any way, and to be able to be engaged in life, and I think that's like any parent."

"And just keeping things calm and you find that as long as we're not worried about anything - you know, you just do the best you can with it," he said.

Speaking about Suri and his wife Katie Holmes, he said: "[Suri] is such a happy girl, and I think that Kate is an extraordinary mother and very calm."

Parenting During The Holidays

2008-12-31T23:27:00.001-08:00

Parenting becomes much more pronounced during the holiday season because it is supposed to be family time. If you don't have enough money to go on vacation, I can truly relate. You'll end up at home with your kids most of the time well... doing nothing.

Here are some tips for those who are not used to it and find it quite difficult to be around their kids more than the usual:

Plan their day - if you don't want your kids in front of the television for the whole days. Try to think of fun things to do like visiting the park or the beach. Have activities like painting or playing outside
Be more interactive - talk to your children, play with them, enjoy the day doing nothing with them. Now is the best time to bond when you have no work and your children have no school
Share the burden - there are a lot of chores to be done but for sure children will enjoy helping you out. Make them seem like fun. Make sweeping a contest or make washing dishes fun using fun colored wipes
Start preparing - before you know it, it will be back to school and back to work. Plan ahead and make sure the sleep routine gets back in place and do some studying during really boring days. Or make intervals such that your child doesn't forget to study or doesn't lose her/his study habits

Holidays don't have to be painful and gruesome. Unfortunately there is no such thing as a holiday from being a parent. The best we can do is get by and have as much fun as we can with our children before they grow old enough to think they can have fun without us

Ricky Martin - Daddy Living La Vida Loca

2008-12-11T08:07:00.000-08:00

New parent Ricky Martin is getting the spotlight recently. He has no new album, no new concert, no new song. All this attention is for his new born twins Valentino and Matteo. Borne by a surrogate mother, Ricky Martin now takes care of both his sons without the help of a nanny! No wonder he hasn't been on the celebrity radar these past few months.

He's been getting some trash about being gay and having kids. I haven't really seen a confirmation on the fact that Ricky Martin is gay but this pretty much indirectly says it.

It's nice though that he's taking care of his children - bathing, feeding and putting to bed... the works. I did wonder why he didn't take the Brangelina adoption method. Apparently adoption was one option, but it's complicated and can take a long time. Surrogacy was an intriguing and faster option according to Ricky Martin, 'I'm going to jump into this with no fear.'

Well I do hope he takes care of them well. From what I read on People Magazine, he sings to them and reads to them. He seems like a decent parent.

Barack Obama Speaks To Parenting With a "Too Sexy And Violent Hollywood" - Obama Takes "Parental Guidance" Seriously. We Should Too!

2008-11-28T19:24:00.000-08:00

In January, at a presidential debate in Los Angeles before an audience packed with showbiz types, Barack Obama was asked whether he thought there was "too much sex and violence coming out of Hollywood."

Obama's response - grounded, measured, real - was an early indication that he knew how to speak from his own personal experience directly to the daily dilemmas of millions of parents. If Bill Clinton famously promised that "I feel your pain," Obama's message to parents was, in effect, "I feel your anxiety." It was easy to picture him utilizing his bully pulpit on their behalf once he became Dad-in-Chief.

"Well, I've got a 9-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old daughter," he replied to the questioner. "So I look at this not just as a legislator or a presidential candidate but as a parent. And as a parent, yes, I am concerned about what's coming over the airwaves."

Obama rejected censorship, emphasizing that parents bear primary responsibility. He talked about giving them "technologies and tools" so they can monitor what their children watch on TV and see on the Web. At this point, the assembled Hollywood honchos were probably stifling yawns and assuming they were off the hook. But then Obama added pointedly: "I don't mean to be insulting here, but I do think that it is important for those in the industry to show some thought about who they are marketing some of these programs that are being produced to.

"And I'm concerned about sex, but I'm also concerned, you know, [about] some of the violent, slasher, horror films that come out," he added. "You see a trailer, and I'm thinking, 'I don't want my 6-year-old or 9-year-old seeing that trailer while she's watching 'American Idol.' "

Obama's answer revealed that he understands a fundamental truth: Today, the bad stuff comes at kids from all directions. At that moment, I'm guessing, there were a lot of parents saying to themselves: "This guy gets it." The "gets it" factor doesn't show up in polls the way, say, the economy or the Iraq war does. But it's huge. Whenever he weighed in on a cultural issue during the campaign, Obama seemed to occupy the sensible center. He catered neither to the neo-puritans who wave the banner of "family values" nor to the hipper-than-thou types who sneer at the idea of any filter or any restraint. And I'll bet it helped push him over the top.

"He crosses that nice line of being viewed as a generational peer - he speaks in the vernacular of the young; he's mastered technology - but at the same time he makes it very clear that he's very devoted to his family," says social historian Barbara Dafoe Whitehead. "He can be kind of a young father, which we haven't had in the White House since Jack Kennedy. It's an interesting sort of double persona."

James Steyer, the CEO and founder of Common Sense Media, a nonprofit organization that offers guidance to parents on children's entertainment, says that because both Obamas are engaged parents, they have the lived knowledge and the credibility to convey credible and nuanced messages. "That's a huge deal, priceless, the ability of Barack and Michelle Obama to be role models about smart media behavior and using common sense and setting limits," Steyer said. "Parents need some bailing out on the media side, but there's no cost to this bailout of parents. This one is free."

So what form should this "bailout" take? Susan Linn, director of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, would like to see Obama strengthen the Federal Trade Commission's power to regulate marketing to children, so young kids aren't barraged with ads for toys linked to grim, violent movies like "The Dark Knight." Julie Dobrow, director of the Communications and Media Studies program at Tufts University, says Obama should not be "prescriptive" but rather should become an advocate for media literacy, so kids will be equipped to make good choices from the welter of bad ones thrown their way every day.

At the moment, of course, the president-elect has more urgent matters on his plate. He has the aforementioned economy to fix and the aforementioned war to end. But at a minimum, parenthood in the Age of Obama will come with this guarantee, articulated by Whitehead: "All parents with kids at home will have an ally in the White House. That's really refreshing."

From Boston.com's Parenting Begins At White House

Seven Questions About Babies And Sleeping Answers From CNN

2008-11-28T19:14:00.000-08:00

"How can I get my baby on a nap schedule without being housebound?"

"A nap schedule isn't a rigid, inflexible plan," says Kim West, a clinical social worker and the author of "Good Night, Sleep Tight." It's just a framework based on when your baby gets tired during the day. Generally, infants between four and 15 months nap for one to two hours in the morning about two hours after waking up, and again in the afternoon for one to two hours. Some babies also take a late-afternoon nap, which most drop by nine months.

Sounds doable, until you remember you need to run an errand or meet a friend. "Parents often feel chained to their house by their child's nap schedule," says West. But if you plan ahead, you can get beyond your driveway.

"I'd pack my daughters' food to take along so that we could run out during their awake windows. If I didn't, then the hours would quickly fill up with meals and diaper changes before we could leave the house."

"My baby fights her afternoon nap -- it ends up being such a struggle. Help!"

In the wise words of my friend Samantha's pediatrician, "When your child needs to sleep, she will." Some babies, like Samantha's daughter, Ava, thrive without much daytime sleep -- sometimes to their moms' dismay. "Other infants need help learning to nap because it's not as natural even at this young age to sleep during the day," says West.

How can you help your baby take a break? Dim the lights, read a book, do a short variation of what you do at bedtime. "I always play the same Calm Baby CD to help my twins wind down for naptime," says Tanya Ceccarelli, mother of Nadia and Sofia in Dobbs Ferry, New York.

A snack can also do the trick, say some moms. "Since eliminating breastfeeding before my daughter's naps, we've replaced it with a snack, usually yogurt, so that she can rest on a full tummy," says Pam Wells of Great Falls, Montana. And even though most sleep experts say to put your baby down "drowsy but awake" (yeah, right), I'd give Lucy a bottle, sometimes just filled with water, to help her relax.

A baby between 15 and 18 months (sometimes younger) who routinely resists napping could be ready to move to one nap. Gradually start the "morning" nap later, so that it begins around 12:30 p.m., says West. Ideally, your baby will move to a single nap that lasts for two hours or more and then have enough energy to make it until bedtime. Parenting.com: Guide to baby sleep

"Should I be concerned that my baby's naps last only 45 minutes?"

"There's nothing unhealthy about a catnapper," says LoFrumento. If your child sleeps through the night and seems rested in the day from two to three 45-minute naps, then leave her pattern alone, says West.

But if your baby is irritable during the day, you might want to try lengthening her nap. To do that, when she wakes up, try to soothe her instead of taking her out of her crib -- pat her, make shushing sounds, or put her pacifier back in if she uses one.

"Driving to help my baby nap is such a lifesaver. Can I keep doing it?"

Yes, but experts recommend not making it a daily habit. Motion sleep, whether it's in a car, swing, or stroller, isn't as restorative as crib sleep because it doesn't allow for as deep a slumber, says West. But a car nap beats no nap.

"If my two babies wouldn't sleep, I'd take them for a ride," says Jody Wallace from Claremore, Oklahoma. "I'd get my drive-through errands done, and afterward I'd gingerly take both girls out of the car and put them into bed at home."

If your baby doesn't stay asleep when you transfer her from car seat to crib -- "I think it's a gene that babies are born with or without," jokes West -- then try to keep driving, or park at home and pull out a magazine, so that your baby gets at least a 45-minute nap. "Anything less isn't enough to fill up your baby's sleep tank," West says.

"How am I supposed to know when my baby's ready for a nap?"

It can be hard to recognize your baby's cues. The nap window -- from when she first rubs her eyes to when she must be asleep -- is often 30 minutes or less, says LoFrumento.

"As soon as you see eye rubbing, yawning, fussiness, those are signs that you should start preparing your baby for a nap," says Judy Owens, M.D., director of the Pediatric Sleep Disorder Clinic at the Hasbro Children's Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island. Still not sure if your baby's ready? Act sooner rather than later, says Dr. Owens. "If you wait too long, your baby might get a second wind and then be too alert or too irritated to sleep." Parenting.com: Learn your baby's body language

"It's 5 p.m. and my baby just dozed off. Is this too late for a nap?"

"I wouldn't wake a baby from a nap, even one this late, because his body knows what he needs," says Owens. Bedtime may need to be pushed back that night so that your baby has enough time to get tired again.

If this happens only occasionally, nothing needs to be done. But if your baby is regularly sleeping through dinnertime, you may need to start his day earlier. For instance, wake him no later than 7 a.m., so that he naps earlier in the day. Parenting.com: Help your baby sleep through the night

"My baby likes to nap in her bouncy seat instead of her crib. Is this okay?"

Technically, experts say, the crib is better because your baby will learn to associate sleep -- whether it's bedtime or naptime -- with this one place. That said, if your baby naps better in another safe spot, like her rear-facing car seat, that's fine as long as she doesn't have trouble sleeping through the night in her crib.

"There's no good evidence to show that there's something intrinsically different between sleeping in a bouncy seat and a crib," Owens says. The way I see it, whether Lucy was napping in her car seat or her crib, I had a sleeping baby. That meant I'd have some time to myself and a happy, rested daughter when she woke up.

From CNN's "Seven Ways To Help Your baby Fall Asleep"

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith make their young children pay for their own toys and treats

2008-11-14T16:46:00.000-08:00

Talk about teaching kids the value of money. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith make their young children pay for their own toys and treats. Fortunately for them though they have a lot of those to go around.

Normal people like us have to scavenge for all that money, but I do admit if my daughter found a way to make her own money like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith's kids Jaden, 10, and Willow, 8, in "The Pursuit of Happiness" and the new "Madagascar" sequel, I'd sure give her the right to spend that money in the way she sees fit.

Pinkett Smith says, "We make it clear to them, 'This is your money and things you want, you'll be paying for.' Kids have to be very responsible without you having to do it for them.

But it's nice to know they're not raising brats for children. These days everybody can get so busy they hardly have time for their children making the latter more prone to juvenile delinquency if you know what I mean.

We all have to make ends meet, and being a parent just makes that load a little bit heavier because we have a life that depends on us not just for financial provisions but nurturing and discipline as well.

Top 3 Christmas Gifts for Children for UK

2008-11-12T03:56:00.000-08:00

Anticipated number Christmas gift for children in UK is the Biscuit my lovin pup. Why it's so popular? That's because this pup actually wags its tail, it barks and whines when a child speaks to it. The robotics are way better than what old people like us are used to

Bakugan Brawlers are also very popular nowadays because of the new television show. Kids are now all over Bakugan Brawler toys and cards, sometimes I think the show is just an excuse to sell these toys!

Third most popular toy in UK is the Hannah Mntana Malibu Beach House. Again we have television to thank for this toy. All those young girls crazy about Hannah Montana would love to get one of these

My Daughter Has Cough And Colds

2008-11-03T04:59:00.000-08:00

My daughter has been having the sniffles last week. She can't sleep properly. She can hardly even breathe. This became a problem because she had to go to school. I didn't want to take her to the doctor. She usually gets tense because we used to go there to get her immunization shots which meant she will need an injection.

To avoid all that stress, we tried some old fashioned medication which was to take lots of vitamin C and liquids. During bed-time we resorted to using eucalyptus for her nose to ease the clogging.

When her cough and colds started to get hard, I bought a decongestant to ease her. It's not gone yet the cough but I do see that she's getting better. She moves around more now and hopefully she'll get cured.

If not, it'll have to be doctor time whether we like it or not.

Parenting On A Budget

2008-10-19T06:43:00.000-07:00

Times are difficult. The economy is in one of the worst crises ever! How in the world will parents get by with raising children? Aside from all the basic necessities

home
food
school
insurance

All of which already cost an arm and a leg just so we can stay afloat, add to that those little things that our kids ask for. It just hurts me a lot when I'm not able to get her those new pair of shoes to replace her old ratty ones that she's almost outgrown, or that princess dress for her halloween party.

But these days I have to explain just how much my budget can accommodate her whims. We've compromised on the new shoes - from Florsheim no less. I told her I'll try to get it on Christmas. Whereas for Halloween I've asked if I can just buy her new wings to accompany an old fairy costume of hers. I can't help but feel jealous for her when she sees other kids with newer clothes and shoes and lots of new toys.

It makes me feel sad that I can't provide her more luxury than these, but it's getting very tight these days having to make ends meet. I've been explaining to my daughter how I have to budget my salary so that we'd have enough for our essentials first before our wants.

I'm not even sure if this is the right kind of parenting, because I think children should be free from financial burden. But I think there's also no other way around it for me. My daughter has to learn the value of money and how hard it is for me to earn it. My daughter has to learn we cannot just spend this hard-earned money on things we don't really need right now.

It might hurt me to say no but I have to.

Angelina Jolie And Breastfeeding

2008-10-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

Did you see the cover of W lately? It has Angelina Jolie implying breast feeding with one of her breasts partially showing and one of her babies' hands just coincidentally covering the nipple area. It's a beautiful picture and a lot of moms and breast feeding supporters applauded her very open way of showing that breast feeding is something to be proud of.

I think it's very sexy and I think it's quite good. It helps a lot of women out there to see that someone as famous and rich as Angelina Jolie is taking the time to breast feed her very famous and rich children. The photos were apparently taken by Brad Pitt!

Although there is that question of money and how they are just milking (pun not intended) the publicity money off their new born kids, not that they need it I think.

Parenting and Sharon Stone

2008-10-05T05:02:00.000-07:00

The whole world must have heard about Sharon Stone losing custody of her 8-year-old adopted son to ex-husband Phil Bronstein.

According to the San Francisco judge in Superior Court papers, it was said that Stone "delegates many of her parenting responsibilities to third parties" and has "simply refused" to participate in counseling unless her "schedule is accommodated and her demands are met. Such conduct on the part of any parent ... is unacceptable and does not serve the child's best interest."

It's sad how this had to happen and all over the news Sharon Stone sounds like she's just an irresponsible parent by overreacting to her son's health issues and apparently not having "structure, continuity and reliability that Roan needs, and candidly, deserves."

I do understand how difficult it can be to raise a child and to raise one with all this extravagance and melodrama in the public eye must make it a notch harder. I guess money can't buy you everything after all

Spending Quality Time With Your Kids

2008-09-30T19:15:00.000-07:00

I don't consider myself an expert in parenting. I only have 1 child and she's 6 years old at that. But I do want to share the things I've learned. One of the hard lessons I had to learn was balancing work and family time.

Being a single parent isn't easy at all. I do want to spend as much time as I can with my daughter, but then again I also have to pay the bills. Juggling both these things at the same time can just get on my nerves, so much so that I feel guilty leaving my daughter when I have to work overtime, and I also feel mediocre at work because I can't invest as much time there as I feel I should.

I guess this dilemma is present even when there are 2 parents, depending on how passionate you are about your job/ career. I've seen my single counterparts just work until 10 in the evening. I could never do that. 6pm already seems like a stretch for me.

I treasure the time I spend with my daughter as all parents should. I make it a point to have dinner with her and of course - bed time. I prefer to put my daughter to bed. It's not that big a deal to some people, I know it's not much that's just a couple of hours in a day compared to being in the office for 8 hours or more but it means so much to me when we say our prayers before we sleep and just lie there talking to each other as we doze off.

I think it's important to spend some quality time with your kids everyday, particularly when they're younger. When they grow to about 12 years old, like my sister - they drift away on their own. I'm told it's a "phase" but I think it's just the way children are. I remember I was consciously trying to be distant at this age. It comes with the adolescence and the peer pressure I think.

So right now, I still have a couple of years to snuggle up to my daughter and I won't miss a day of it. Hope you won't too

Watch Out Dad, The Electro Magnetic Waves From Your Cell Phone May Be Too Close To Your Balls!

2008-09-21T05:21:00.000-07:00

As published in the journal Fertility and Sterility, our little sperm friends may be in weaker health due to exposure to radio-frequency energy released by cellphones that are placed in pockets. Not to say that they damage DNA, just that according to study that being exposed to radio-frequency electromagnetic waves emitted from cell phones had higher levels of damaging free radicals which can cause lower sperm motility, lower sperm viability and possibly greater oxidative stress than the non-exposed semen.

It can then damage your chances of being fathers someday. So be careful guys! Blue tooth devices and cell phones in your pockets may be too near to the testicles and in turn damage the little guys...

Mothers' Toxic Behavior Have More Effect On Children Than Fathers'

2008-09-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

Here's a sad research output if I do say so myself, although it depends which side you're rooting for, but I think all-around the kids lose so it's still rather sad. According to research published in The Sydney Morning Herald, mothers who exhibit "toxic" behavior - from being cold and indifferent to being abusive, manipulative or over-controlling - are far more likely to warp their children's outlook on life than fathers with similar behavior.

Wayne Warburton from Macquarie University's Children and Families Research Centre, was quoted, "Mothers have a really powerful effect on the way their kids view the world and themselves, probably because kids spend more time with their mothers, especially in the crucial early years."

Based on a research on about 441 university-age teens, two-thirds are likely to develop unhelpful patterns of thinking if the toxic parenting they had experienced came from their father rather than their mother.

Just over 22 per cent of the mothers
14 per cent of the fathers were classified as toxic
toxic mothers outnumbered toxic fathers

He said while mothers had more influence on their children, it was surprising that fathers had two-thirds the effect of mothers, given their lower levels of contact. "Fathers still have a significant effect on the development of their kids' patterns of thinking."

I had always thought parenting was difficult. I pray day in and day out that God give me the strength and wisdom not to ruin my daughter's life, given that I can. I do hope I can be a good example to her too. It can be pretty stressful reading about stuff like this, but I guess it is something that all parents should know. Parenting is such a big responsibility.

Sarah Palin - US Vice Presidentiable In Caught In Parenting Cross Fire

2008-09-06T20:55:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin has just come on board the very intense political battle between Obama and McCain as McCain's running mate for vice president. I've heard she has the charismatic aura of Obama and the beliefs of McCain which makes her a rather formidable opponent.

What's key to this post though is the fact that she has 5 children, one of whom is a pregnant teen-ager and another 5-month-old infant with Down syndrome. Parenting normal children is bad enough, parenting 5 of them is already a stretch but parenting a teen and a special child along with 3 others in between is just beyond me. And Sarah Palin decides to run for vice-president of the Unites States of America - there goes about millions more children under her jurisdiction.

You know kudos to her if she can handle it, I've read many-a-blog that questions her capacity though, I do admit that has got to be difficult. But on the flip side, there is the double standards of society rearing its ugly head on the female candidate. It's quite true, if this were a male candidate, we'll probably never have to hear of his "domestic" issues, family concerns and parenting abilities.

To be fair, Sarah Palin isn't the only parent in their household and although research says most spouses aren't as attracted to being the primary care-giver, I guess something has to give this time. There's nothing wrong with being a house-bund has many have dubbed it. It's one of the best things to be a stay-at-home dad.

Sarah Palin's parenting ability can be part of her character build-up but isn't the same thing applicable to Obama and McCain as well? Sarah Palin is a working parent just like more than half the population of the world, it's a balancing act people do - some people do it better while others can't handle it. We're all just here to try.

It will be harder to raise a family and run a country at the same time, but it has been done before. Many feminists feel insulted because male candidates never have to go through the same criticism. I think that's just part of being a mother, the bar is just raised a little higher than usual

Autism Shouldn't Be Blamed On Parents

2008-08-23T22:42:00.000-07:00

I thought this might ease the minds and hearts of a lot of parents out there...

"Parenting does not cause autism or Asperger syndrome," according to Lynn Adams - author of three books on autism, including one to be released this year titled "Parenting on the Autism Spectrum: A Survival Guide."

"... If bad parenting caused autism, we'd be higher than one in 150."

She is one of two speakers at a Sept. 27 autism workshop in Savannah, "Authors on Autism." Author Roy Sanders also will speak, giving an overview of autism medications.

People disagree on the cause of autism: Do we blame the increase in cases on genetics or environmental factors? Or are we just better at recognizing autism?

People also argue over which treatments are most effective and whether students with autism should be included in mainstream classrooms or placed in specialized programs.

There are even feuds about whether autism is a disorder to treat or simply a difference to celebrate.

Adams' answer to all these questions is to avoid a "one-size-fits-all" approach and treat the individual.

"You treat what walks in the door, not the label," Adams said.

Via Savanna Morning News

Parenting Tips For Handling Twins

2008-08-10T05:35:00.001-07:00

They say parenting twins are twice as hard. Well I say giving birth to both at the same time does make it pretty hard. Having 2 kids at one time instead of just one can be overwhelming. But just so we're clear, they are no different then siblings. It's just the same amount of love, care and affection only times 2

But here are some tips.

Spend time with them separately but equally too just to make sure you don't establish any early sibling rivalry
Always encourage them to have their own identity. Sure all those matching outfits will be cute, but let them be their own person from time to time, they will not always prefer the same things.
Be strict but patient. Having 2 children can be very stressful as it is. But know that they're going to grow up and you're just going to be so proud of them. And miss them too when they get too old for you to scold
Spend as much time with them as you possibly can. When they get bigger they may not want to spend any more time with you as other priorities take the place of parents - like friends and peers and romantic relationships
Take a break every now and then. Kids do understand that parents can get tired. It will be better for you and better for them when you're not on edge all the time
Read up. Times change very fast. It's always best to stay abreast with advances in technology and society. Wouldn't want to age gap to make it even more difficult to communicate, having a decent conversation is difficult enough without it!

Best of all tell them you love them at all times. You gotta love twins! And here are a couple of naughty ones care of Maxim (the Bush twins)

The Pros and Cons of Hyper Parenting

2008-08-03T05:52:00.000-07:00

Coined by Alvin Rosenfeld, "Hyper parenting," is the idea that the more experience and knowledge parents provide for their children, the more successful they will be. I think like alcohol, it becomes bad when not taken in moderation.

Hyper parenting can be good because parents (busy parents in particular) can schedule their children's day/s to create routines and be able to establish rules that will make both the parents' and kids' life a little bit more bearable than the chaos that it can be when often left in an unpredictable state.

The Redbook though criticized this parenting style -- "Putting kids into scheduled activities takes children out of the free floating of pretend play," said Stacy Morrison, Redbook editor-in-chief. "During unstructured play, kids are learning how to problem solve. A big part of that is creative thinking."

Although I do agree that over-scheduling a child might lead to negative ramifications. It can become stressful for adults to be "on the go" all day everyday - how much more for children right? So it is a good idea to be able to let loose sometimes.

Well according to the PE.com article criticizing Hyper parenting, Structured play activities can be important for learning coordination, muscle development and self-esteem, she said. But, parents should keep a close eye on their child's activity load.

Children after all have different temperaments. I taught pre-school for a year so I should know. Some of them do pretty well in group activities, but some of them would rather be left alone. There should be a line drawn somewhere - a clear light on their forehead that says go or stop to a parent. It's not that easy though because children can't often communicate in the best of ways.

As parents we have to try to understand our children. Talk to them. Get to know them. That way they will be able to tell us what suits them and what does not. I totally believe in having my daughter's opinion in what she wants to do. Of course there are times when she has to study or she has to clean up, but there are also times when she can choose what she wants to do. That way we create a balance of having the right time for everything.

Baby Crying In The Middle Of The Night! Who Do You Call? Overnight Nannies!

2008-07-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

Night nannies have taken the world by storm. When historically older people would frown at a young couple hiring external "help" to raise a child, it has now become a welcome relief to have somebody actually come in at night to soothe a crying child.

I can certainly understand this. With the economy down as it is now, both parents have to work full time just to make ends meet. But then who will be left to watch the kid/s? During the day, it's not that big of a deal because there's day-care and school that will take the child through the whole day without much incidence.

The problem comes at night when both parents are tired out and the baby is still crying! Who do you call? Night nannies to the rescue! This of course doesn't come cheap. I hear the range is from $15-$40 per hour which actually means about $120 a night minimum. That's not a bad night's work for a nanny I think. However this also necessitates a great degree of confidence on the parents' side, imagine having someone who's not family over for the night in your house taking care of your child. Some people who are paranoid might just go insane.

But for those that are really just exhausted after a day's work, it's a welcome relief to have a helping hand late in the evening when you're just at your wit's end as well.

Be Careful Your Kids May Be Abused Online

2008-07-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

In a recent article I read about children's safety while online was pretty alarming. I'm online almost all the time and my child probably sees that. It can't be helped since I work with people on the other side of the world, I'm practically online almost 24 hours a day.

I get spam and I get security alerts and I make sure my system is protected enough to withstand any problem that may have the potential to get out of hand. But of course, when my child becomes old enough to go online I guess more safety features will need to be in place.

Statistics show that

28 percent of tweens reported having been contacted by a stranger while online.
About 18 percent did not tell anyone about being contacted
11 percent responded to the stranger. However, not many tweens reported actually meeting the people with whom they chatted online.
About 22 percent of kids said they have friends who have been bullied online.
As they get older, tweens are less concerned about the ramifications of posting personal information online. About 67 percent of kids aged 8-10 said they don't post personal information on the Internet; that number dropped to 51 percent among 11-12 year olds.
About 73 percent of tweens said that their parents talk to them "a lot" about Internet security, while 25 percent said their parents talked to them "a little."

So parents, just as there should be parental guidance when children watch television, there should also be vigilance online. Not only can it be dangerous to your child but to your entire family as well.

If You're A Parent That's Permissive With What Your Kids Eat, Research Says You're Permissive

2008-07-11T20:32:00.000-07:00

In a recent research posted in Reuters about parenting styles and children's eating habits, findings show that parents' general styles are important in their children's diets, according to Dr. Laura Hubbs-Tait and colleagues at Oklahoma State University in Stillwater.

This study sort of states the obvious since it does make sense for eating habits of children to follow the same way parents would handle overall behavior. Whether authoritative or permissive it would naturally follow I guess.

They also suggest that efforts to help obese children lose weight are "not likely to be successful" unless the underlying family dynamics are addressed, the researchers report in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association.

In general, experts recommend that parents use positive approaches to get their children to eat right -- by setting a good example with their own diets, for example.

But in this study, both the strict and permissive parents typically failed to serve as good dietary role models for their children.

"Due to the infrequency of healthy eating modeled by both permissive and authoritarian parents," the researchers write, "food and nutrition professionals might encourage both to begin more healthy eating -- for the sake of their own health and that of their children."

A lack of attention to family dynamics may help explain why child obesity treatment is often less than successful, according to Hubbs-Tait and her colleagues.

"Food and nutrition professionals who are implementing dietary change or obesity treatment programs need to include more complex approaches to behavioral change that include parenting styles and family dynamics," they conclude.

SOURCE: Journal of the American Dietetic Association, July 2008.

The Dangers Of Toy Chests - Recall Of Costco Bayside Furnishings Recalls Youth Bed Toy Chests

2008-07-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

We all want our children to be safe. But let's face it, parents can't be around all the time. A toy chest has served many of parents' needs for toys be kept safe and clean and not scattered all over the room - which usually happens.

In this case though, Consumer reports sends out this caution that toy chests are in fact not toys by themselves and can be hazardous for children.

There are many dangers to using toy chests

the lid can fall on the child
the child can get trapped inside and suffocate
children can get locked inside

There have been at least 10 other recalls of toy chests or cedar chests over the past decade because of entrapment or suffocation hazards. A child suffocated in a chest in 2005, and two others died in chest-related accidents in 2001--one from suffocation, and the other from a fall, according to Consumer Product Safety Commission spokesman Scott Wolfson.

Consumer Reports cautions parents about toy chests with hinged lids knowing the hazards they pose. Not only can children become entrapped by the lid but they can suffocate in the chest if they crawl inside and become trapped. If you have a toy chest, or any chest, with a freely falling hinged lid, the safest thing you can do is remove the lid entirely.

Just click here if you want to learn more about the Bayside Furnishings Recalls Youth Bed Toy Chests Sold at Costco After the Death of a 22-Month-Old Child

"Baby Borrowers" May Be Affecting Attachment Of Infants

2008-07-04T03:00:00.000-07:00

In the new reality series, "Baby Borrowers" teens get to be parents to babies for a few weeks while parents and care-givers watched on. The reality show was intended to teach teen-agers the consequences of having children- how difficult it can be, and how much work it truly is.

But right now psychologists have come up to say that the show should be pulled because it sacrifices the bond between the baby and the real parents in the show. Since the babies are merely infants, they may undergo traumatic stress not being able to see their primary care-giver, their mother and father - the real parents during this process.

The show's producers have argued that in reality working parents are already separated from their babies as young as 6 weeks old in order to go back to work, leaving children in the care of someone else during the 8-hour work day, which they think will justify this television show.

Although the show's premise to teach teenagers to be more responsible with children and possible potential of parenting, I do agree that it is a little harsh for babies to undergo such a treatment just for a reality television show. Maybe the teenagers should go with toddlers?

"Baby Borrowers" Putting Teens In Parenting Spotlight

2008-06-28T22:10:00.000-07:00

I didn't think "Baby Borrowers" was such a hot reality show. But if you take it into a different perspective, you will see that it's a pretty good springboard for kids to learn about parenting and how really difficult it is to bear and raise children at any age.

It's like a sneak peak into parenting without actually having the kids. With "Baby Borrowers," the new reality show on NBC - five young couples, ages 16 to 19, provide round-the-clock care to kids of various ages, a challenge that forces them to face real-life fear factors like dirty diapers, sleepless nights and temper tantrums.

Responsible parenting isn't something that you inherit when you decide to have a child. Sure having sex and procreation can be fun and teenagers would sure love to test that one out over and over again if they don't feel the consequences. But a show like this helps them see that parenting as a result of your actions might just be a punishment too difficult to take. This might just be the ultimate contraceptive there is today

Endangered Species: SAHDs -- Stay-At-Home Dads

2008-06-14T22:50:00.000-07:00

I have yet to meet a stay-at-home dad aside from my own. In the Philippine culture it is embarrassing to be the "house-bund" as they are sometimes named. Fathers who decide to stay home are treated as lazy men who would rather let their wives work while they take it easy doing nothing.

This is actually not true. It's not easy to take care of kids. I know. I take care of one 24/7 while I try to earn enough money to get us by. I am a single parent you see and my father is a very big help.

Unfortunately fathers have no support system. Whereas mothers are understandably in need of help and in need of assistance, specially if they have no job and they have to take care of children. But fathers seemingly have to be the bread winner or they are not as important.

When my daughter was younger, I constantly begged her father to visit her and begged him to be a more "hands-on" father which of course never happened and so the fall-out and here I am single parent and all.

I don't regret a thing. But I do wish there could be more men out there who are strong enough to take care of their children. Men who don't hide behind their jobs and careers but open themselves to their families. They don't have to be full-time stay-at-home dads. They just have to be open-minded and more "hands-on" in terms of taking care of their kids. That is after all what parenting is truly all about.

SuperNanny Jo Frost Gives Parenting Advice To Britney Spears

2008-05-31T22:25:00.000-07:00

So what is Supernanny? She's Jo Frost, apparently a parenting expert who visits families in the UK and US who have trouble controlling their children and gives them help and advice on how to improve their behavior.

Jo Frost spoke about Britney in a very understanding way...

"I do believe she loves her children very much and I'd be more than happy to help her. To be able to put her on the right track and feel more empowered as a parent," she said.

She continued, "...It's about Britney being in a place where she's feeling secure and confident in herself, so that she is able to take care of her little ones and give them what they need from her, which is their mother around."

via OK Magazine

Parents To Be Jailed If Under-Age Kids Are Caught Drinking

2008-05-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

I guess it isn't such a bad idea. But it's sort of the opposite of the old-time phrase, "Don't punish the children for parents' mistakes." Now we're punishing parents for the mistakes of children.

Although it is viable since parents ought to discipline their kids. I guess the government authorities have noticed that there are more under-age drinkers now than there were years ago, BBC posted that

Parents who allow their children to drink could face court action.
Police will be handed tougher powers to disperse gangs of youngsters congregating in public.
Ministers say they are still in favour of plans, already announced, to outlaw drinking in public by those under the age of 18.

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said professionals would be called in where parents were unable to handle their offspring.

She added: "Parents must play their role. I want to see greater use of parenting orders and parenting contracts and anti-social behavior orders when young people are caught persistently drinking in public.

"If parents and children need to meet a trained worker to get them back on the right track then so be it."

"Groups of under-18s drinking in public is an all-too-familiar sight

"The type of drinking increases crime, puts young people in vulnerable situations, and I want to put a stop to it.

"These new measures are designed to set clear boundaries."

How To Help Your Kids Lose Weight? Give Them Less TV and Computer Time

2008-05-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

Federal researchers have mentioned that an estimated 16 percent of children ages 6 to 19 years old are overweight, a 45 percent increase in one decade. That means obesity in children are becoming more and more a problem as we go into the future. Parents please don't let your children be fat for life! Not only will they be physically unhealthy but they will be socially impaired as well.

Children are indeed bigger these days. From the food they eat to how they spend their time, it is encouraging them to accumulate fats and not to burn them eventually leading them to self-consciousness because the media - the shows and games they watch all the time, tell them they should be skinny and attractive.

One way to help is to cut kids' TV and computer time by half reduced the amount of food they ate and helped them lose weight, a new study found.

"Television viewing is related to consumption of fast food and foods and beverages that are advertised on television," the study authors said in a prepared statement. "Viewing cartoons with embedded food commercials can increase choice of the advertised item in preschoolers, and television commercials may prompt eating."

The findings are published in the March issue of theArchives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.

Although there is no significant difference between the physical activities of kids who had less television time, children with restricted TV and computer time lost more weight than the other children. To learn more visit the complete article in the Washington Post.

For more on childhood obesity, visit the American Academy of Pediatrics.

How Does A Parent Going Through Midlife Crisis Deal With A Teenager?

2008-04-27T03:43:00.000-07:00

When both parties are troubled altogether, it's never easy. Being the parent, you'll always have to be the bigger person. Here are more tips first hand from Cathy S. Babao-Guballa of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

Parenting a teenager requires a more subtle style. What you used to do when your son or daughter was five or seven will no longer work. Read books, attend parenting workshops (the Center for Family Ministries—CEFAM—at the Ateneo runs very good parenting workshops several times a year) and symposia to lean new parenting skills. It is important for you to keep an open mind and find what is right for you and your child.

If at midlife you feel your hormones fluctuate from day to day and you’re short-tempered, remember that it is the same for your son or daughter. Teen years, like midlife, is like going on a roller-coaster. Expect the unexpected. The big difference is you, as the parent, are expected to be the wiser, more mature one in the equation.

Choose your battles wisely. Not everything is worth arguing about. Picking a fight just to show who is boss or to throw your weight around is just not worth it and will only cause friction or tension between you. Sometimes, it’s just your pride. Think and look within before you react.

Give your teenager adequate personal time and space and don’t be in their face all the time. There are some nights when my daughter just wants to be by herself in her room—to write or listen to music—and I allow her. Although at times, I must admit that she kicks me out of her bedroom.

Build a friendship with your son or daughter that is based on mutual respect and trust. However, and I just wrote about this last week, be very careful about keeping the boundaries clear—you are still the parent—so your child does not take advantage of your “friendship.”

It’s never too late to discipline, but always do it fairly. A teen with raging hormones will not like what you have to say most of the time, but say it firmly and kindly just the same. For example, if curfew is broken by an hour, the next time your teen goes out, you can make his/her curfew an hour earlier, and explain why you are doing so.

Just as in midlife we begin to seek our authentic and true selves, so does our teenager seek to be his/her own person. Unconditional love and a great deal of understanding and patience are crucial in these years. Support and understand the roller-coaster emotions, and explain your side to them. Do not expect them to understand you fully but at least take the time to get your message across.

Again, role-modeling is the key. A parent must be a stable source the teenager can turn to when the going gets rough. Home needs to be a refuge teeners can always return to after their adventures in the outside world, in the company of peers. Be the kind of parent and build the kind of home your teenager will always want to come back to.

(photo by Jessica McCabe)

7 Questions Parents Should Ask When Looking For A Special Education School

2008-04-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

Choosing a special education program for your child can be difficult. One of the biggest choices a parent of a child with special needs will ever make is the selection of a school. Nancy Stein, a speech pathologist at Variety Child Learning Center in Syosset, New York, prepared a list of questions every parent should ask when selecting a school for a child with special needs. Here are 7 questions Disaboom suggests to parents:

Can I visit the school and observe the special education program?

This is a must. You should be permitted to closely observe child-to-child interaction and the interactions of children with multiple staff members in different areas of the school.

Is there a team approach to special education?

An ideal school will have multiple professionals (such as speech pathologists and physical therapists) working closely with each child and with each other, as dictated by the child’s needs. They will keep parents informed with regular meetings.

Where are services given?

Therapists run on a tight schedule; if classrooms are far apart or in different buildings, the travel time comes out of class time.

How much communication is there between teachers and parents?

All schools use parent-teacher meetings to convey information, but more communication is ideal. Some schools encourage parents and teachers to keep in contact by using a notebook passed back and forth with the child each day.

Are the special needs kids ever included with the general population, and—if so— when?

Some schools keep special needs children almost in “lockdown,” rarely allowing interaction with regular education students. Ideally, at least electives like arts and assemblies will be integrated, with academic subjects taught either in a dedicated special education classroom or with regular education students, depending upon the needs of each child.

Are integrated events well supervised?

Schools should provide extra supervision at these times in order to ensure that interaction stays positive and inclusive.

May I talk to a parent whose child attends the school in the special education program?

A parent’s perspective is a unique one, and talking to an “alumni parent” allows you to get a feel for both the pros and cons of the school’s special education program.

How The Internet Can Help Parents

2008-04-12T23:07:00.000-07:00

I'd like to share this article about a mother finding the much-needed help she wanted online. This article from Island Packet, tells of how much online communities can bring together parents and helpers who would like to raise children in the best possible way we can. I guess that's everybody.

Parenthood introduces you to loads of junk you never knew existed until you had kids.

For example, until I had my son I'd never heard of Pee-Pee Teepees. These are dome-shaped washcloths that gullible parents of baby boys use to cover their tots' tiny sprinkling-prone penises during diaper changes. Pee-Pee Teepees lead the list of all manner of gimmicky items marketed to new parents, like car-charging bottle warmers and shoes for infants.

Before becoming a mom I'd also never heard of "Puffs," a Cheerios-size snack for toddlers known by parents everywhere as "baby crack" because merely shaking the plastic container in the vicinity of a toddler causes the child to shriek with pleasure and convulse with joy.

I didn't even know there were parenting "styles." When someone labeled me an "AP mom" I had to do some fast research to find out what that was. (Turns out it has nothing to do with the AP courses I took in high school, proving once again that taking college calculus my senior year was a worthless endeavor.)

Luckily, to educate me on these and all manner of child care, I needn't turn to my mother, sisters, friends who are moms, parenting books, or even Oprah (who is not a mother but somehow still starred in a movie about caring for newborns that I had to sit through in the Parenting Basics course offered through Beaufort Memorial Hospital) -- because I've got the Internet.

Before becoming pregnant I had no idea there were such an astounding number of baby-related Web sites and parenting blogs, filled with pithy advice, humorous toddler tales and weary moms swapping napping horror stories and video clips of their kids. There are humorous blogs such as Mom-101, whose tagline -- "I don't know what I'm doing either" -- gave it instant "bookmarked" status on my computer. There are Web sites such as Babyfit.com, which coaches pregnant women and new moms on how to be healthy with special workouts and nutritional help. And there are e-mail services such as life coach Scott Noelle's The Daily Groove parenting tips.

I was instantly sucked in to this strange new world.

I think I was about 10 weeks pregnant when I joined an online message board thread for fellow first-time moms who were all due in the first two weeks of June 2007. About 30 newly pregnant strangers of varying ages, ethnic backgrounds and economic status began an online community of support and advice that saw us through morning sickness, weight gain, swollen feet and all the worries and preparations of impending motherhood.

We celebrated when each one found out the sex of their baby, prayed each time someone had a complication or went into labor, and rejoiced with each delivery -- the first came almost two months early. And in the last 10 months we've supported each other through postpartum depression, the heartbreak of having to go back to work (or the tough decision not to), and the overwhelming responsibilities of motherhood.

Of course I often still call people I've actually met face to face, like my mother, sisters and friends, to pick their brains about whatever problem I'm having with my son and to share every milestone he makes. But for me, these Web friends have become both an outlet and a lifeline. They listen without judging and encourage without cajoling.

The trouble is, we are spread so far across the country that there is little hope of actually meeting these mamas. And as my son crawls with lightning speed toward his first birthday, it's becoming apparent that even though I can find friendship online, he cannot. He needs real, live friends to play with, and we both need local child-oriented activities to try.

That's why Mom2Mom (www.mom2momsc.com), the brand-new parenting Web site created and sponsored by The Island Packet and The Beaufort Gazette, is right up my alley. Billed as "the Lowcountry's online Mom community," I'm hoping it will help me find mothers who actually share the same area code as me, not just the same parenting style.

It's designed as a place for expectant mothers and moms of children of all ages to share stories and photos, find play dates and family activities, swap kids' toys and gear, and generally share the joys and woes of motherhood, from pregnancy to the empty nest.

Like Pee-Pee Teepees, it would have been completely off my radar before having a child. And that's OK, because those of us who find it relevant will find it, period, and in doing so, will find each other. I'm convinced that we don't need Oprah to be better parents, but we just might need each other. So jump online, moms, and let's meet.

Even Halle Berry Asks For Parenting Advice

2008-04-12T23:03:00.000-07:00

Parenting is hard enough as it is, ask help when needed and if you have some home-grown secrets share them too. Even hollywood actress Halle Berry asks for parenting advice.

According to United Press International "Access Hollywood" host Nancy O'Dell says she has been offering mothering advice to Hollywood starlet and new mother Halle Berry.

O'Dell said at a Hollywood film premiere this week that she has been in communication with the 41-year-old actress since she gave birth to Nahla Ariela Aubry in March, People magazine reported Saturday.

We've e-mailed, and she's loving motherhood," said O'Dell, who had a daughter last June.

"She is loving every minute of it, couldn't be any happier. She's going to be such a great mom."

O'Dell said the "Monster's Ball" star was very appreciative for all the additional mothering tips she had accumulated since having her own daughter.

"I sent her a whole page e-mail about things I wish friends had told me," O'Dell told People Thursday. "I said, 'I wish people had given me this advice. They didn't, so I'm going to give it to you.' She was appreciative, really appreciative."

How A Stay-At-Home Parent Can Get Back To Work

2008-04-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

There's nothing more difficult than getting back to work after being at home for so long. Your wife may be suffering this or you may be too. Taking care of a child is a lot of work but sometimes the need just arises for one or both of you to start working again. MSNBC outlines 4 steps to help stay-at-home parents get back to work.

Step one: Be determined
The hardest and most time-consuming: Get determined to go back. SAHMS often feel conflicted about returning to work. Women often leave work for good reasons — to be with children, frustrated by a less-than-family-friendly work schedule, to support their husband’s demanding career. Can they juggle work and motherhood? Will their kids suffer? Will their husband or partner be supportive? Are they still valued by the workplace? You cannot project ambivalence to potential employers or waste valuable interview time justifying your choices.

Step two: Ask for help
Get a buddy or paid coach or take a class to help you develop a compelling resume and job interview skills. Writing a resume based on skills — not chronological promotions and achievements — can be hard. Projecting confidence in an interview is also a big challenge to someone who has been home for years. But as in any job interview, confidence is key.

Step three: Be public

Be open and very public about your decision to go back to work. Enlist help and advice from friends, family, former colleagues, parents at your children’s schools. Tell everyone these top three messages:

1. You want to go back
2. What kind of job you are looking for
3. What your skills are

Be decisive and confident. Moms report this kind of informal networking leads to most promising opportunities.

Step four: Develop a thick skin
Be determined and realistic and your own most-enthusiastic cheerleader. Don’t take rejection personally — and don’t let it invalidate your time at home with your family. Develop a thick skin: We live in a capitalist country that naturally values hard work without time out, so there will be questions about why you left and why you want to return, but this is not a rejection of your or your decisions. Ignore myths and negative messages that women who’ve taken work breaks to care for kids cannot go back — millions of women do every year.

Remember — you have a lot to give, and with determination and help you can find the job that’s right for you and your family.

Image from Fnf.org.uk

12 Ideal Toys For Toddlers

2008-04-06T05:57:00.000-07:00

For parents who are wondering what would probably be the best gift to give a toddler, here's a nice list from MSNBC that is ideal for toddlers transitioning. Each toy has a short description as well as its price. Happy shopping!

Kaboost Lightweight Portable Chair Booster Seat
Boost your little one’s booty to just the right height on any four-legged chair you may encounter with this spring-loaded device that is amazingly stable and also very portable. Not only will your child be able to sit in any seat, the product is available in a variety of colors to match any home or space. Price: $37.95.

Elmo Live
He's baaaack. Elmo is more alive than we've ever seen him! With Elmo now walking, talking, laughing and expressing his every emotion, it's like he's jumped out of the TV and right into your kid’s life. Snatch Elmo Live up when he hits the shelves in October as he's sure to gain the same hype as his predecessor, Tickle Me Elmo. Price: $59.99.

Oregon Scientific Multi-Room Climate Monitor
Jack and I live in a small apartment and it baffles me that his room can become so extremely cold while mine is hot. The thought of him being chilly at night often has me up and checking on him several times. This device solves the varying-temperature issue as it keeps track of the temperature and humidity in up to three rooms and sends the info back to a base station. It also has a mold alert system, tells the time and date and gives you weather predictions for your day. Price: $89.99.

Okiedog Fropper
Looking for a fun toy that fits into any space? This ride-on toy is perfect! The lightweight plastic frame folds up in a cool way that makes it really easy to travel with or store in any closet or under a bed. Once unfolded, the seat doubles as a bouncer and will be the envy of all the kids on the playground! Price: $64.99.

Safety 1st Jack Potty
As many moms know, when potty training your child, it's a good idea to use positive reinforcement. The Jack Potty takes this concept to the limit with music, lights and even spinning shapes when a deposit is made. As a bonus, it comes with a seat that can be taken off and placed on the big potty when the time for no more diapers comes! Price: $29.99.

Summer Infant Flat Screen Monitoring System
Keeping your eyes on the kids without them knowing is a great way for each of you to gain independence. Traditionally, the screens on children’s monitors were big and bulky, but now they're sleek. This seven-inch flat screen can be placed anywhere and even comes with a mounting kit for someplace clever like under your kitchen cabinet. Looking for more portability? The unit also comes with a wireless sound unit. Price: $219.99.

Discovery Moon In My Room
Jack needs a bit of light when he sleeps and this gadget does a great job of giving him just that. The wall-mounted moon-shaped lamp actually cycles through all 12 phases of the moon via a remote control. A great way to build on a kid’s fascination with the moon and stars! Price $29.95.

CARES Kids Fly Safe
Lugging a car seat through the airport is no longer necessary. This strapping system attaches to the existing seat belt and is extremely portable. For many traveling moms, this is a lifesaver! Price: $74.95.

Made For Me MP3 Player
Kids love their parents’ gadgets, but parents don't like little fingers on their buttons! Now Junior can have his very own MP3 player. This device has 50 different songs and sounds preloaded, or you can upload your choice of tunes. Once it's ready to go, you can use the remote to turn it on and then attach it to the crib or let it live among the other toys. Complete with flashing lights and a cute bunny costume, this is a great toy for that little music lover in your house. $69.99.

Boon Flo
This modern-looking device attaches to the bath faucet and serves several purposes: It protects your child from bumping their head on a hard surface, turns water into a waterfall for easy rinsing and has a bubble-bath dispenser. Price: $14.99.

The Safe Sippy
A new take on the traditional sippy cup, the Safe Sippy is made out of an environmentally friendly stainless-steel material that's also nonleaching, easier to use and looks rad. Price: $14.95.

Step2 Fire Engine Toddler Bed
The best way to sleep-train your little one is to give them the ultimate place to sleep! This bed is shaped like a fire engine and has a working night-light on it. It requires a crib-size mattress and creates a safe place to sleep for the future firefighter in your life. Price: Starting at $190.

Image from Childdevelopmentinfo.com

The way to keep children safe in the virtual world is to give them the skills that they have always needed in the real world

2008-03-30T00:27:00.000-07:00

The Guardian's Justine Roberts on keeping children safe in the virtual world.

The day after Barack Obama won in Iowa, I tried to engage my nine-year-old daughters in a conversation about what had the feel of a historic moment. "Oh yeah," one replied. "I've seen him on Presidential Paintball." I looked bemused, and she promptly Googled up a game in which players could adopt the persona of White House hopefuls, blasting away at each other with green goo.

It was one of those moments that make you love the internet. Kids who would otherwise have no interest in US politics could now reel off the field of candidates as if it were the Arsenal team. But such moments are far outnumbered by the paralysing kind: the porn site stumbled on in a search for pets; the latest supposed web suicide pact; some fresh warning about grooming on social networking sites.

So Tanya Byron's study into children's computer use is a timely response to a widespread sense of anxiety. Any day on the talk boards of Mumsnet.com you'll find parents asking each other how to protect their kids from the perils of the virtual world (this week's scare story is Miss Bimbo, the online game tempting teenagers with plastic surgery and diet pills). The big bad world that once started beyond the front door is now in our sitting rooms or, worse, behind the closed doors of our children's bedrooms. There's a sense that nothing we do can thwart them if they're determined to break the boundaries.

But whether grooming (the No 1 fear for parents) and bullying (the No 1 fear for kids) are widespread or not, many of Byron's proposals - about laws on assisted suicide, child internet safety, and the classification system for video games - make good sense. Codes of practice for social networking sites are sensible, if only to flag up the need for caution about what children post.

But the moment YouTube, say, cleaned up its act, you can bet another site would pop up in its place. And that other site would inevitably be cooler, so children would flock there. Similarly, giving a video game a 15 rating just makes it a must-see for 12-year-olds.

Far more useful than an industry code of practice is a parental code of practice. Even if we accept that it's impossible to change the nature of the web, we parents are not powerless.

Parents should draw up house rules that stipulate how many hours a child can be online; this recognises that video games and networking sites can be addictive and that children need help to control any addiction (adults too, for that matter). Children also need a list of sites they can access without permission; they must promise to tell parents if they come across material they find disturbing; and make a commitment not to give out any personal details, or to post photos online without permission.

There are some parental filters out there that are easy to implement and operate. But we have to accept that even the best controls are never going to be foolproof, and even the clearest set of rules may not be followed. One parent recently posted: "It turns out my 14-year-old has been accessing some pretty hardcore porn. We put in all measures to clamp down on his previously liberal net access. He seemed apologetic, remorseful and embarrassed. But first thing he did? He tested the parental controls with attempted access to the same sites. Now he has PC [parental control] access while I ponder his future."

What's more, while you might impose a strict regime at home, your children will not always be on the home computer. Many abuses occur outside the home - at friends' houses or school.

Though these worries often seem very different from those of the real world, we are not in fact talking about dangers that weren't there before. The single most important thing that parents can do is to bring up their children to be sensible and savvy - these are precisely the qualities that they need in order to know right from wrong (and scary situations from safe situations)

when they are online. The good news is that in doing what we have always done - being good parents to our children - we are helping to keep them safe.

Almost as important is to keep the lines of communication open. As the internet allows children to communicate on a global scale, parents need to increase considerably their own levels of communication with children, and to show an interest in what they are doing online. A no-blame policy is also a must, so that if they do encounter chatroom imposters and online bullies, or expose you to bankruptcy, at least you have a chance of finding out in time to prevent lasting damage.

Parenting may well have got harder with the internet - but at least the basic rules haven't changed.

Image from SocialMedia.biz

You Can Go To Prison For Microwaving Your Child!

2008-03-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

A jury sentenced a young father Wednesday to 25 years in prison for severely burning his infant daughter after putting her in a microwave and turning it on for up to 20 seconds.

Joshua Mauldin was teary-eyed after hearing the sentence. His mother sobbed loudly in the courtroom.

The jury had convicted Mauldin on Tuesday of felony injury to a child, rejecting his claims that he was insane when he put his daughter Ana in the microwave last year.

Prosecutors had wanted him sentenced to the maximum of life in prison. Still, Galveston County prosecutor Xochitl Vandiver said she was satisfied with the sentence.

"It's extremely important for people to know that just because this case was sensational, it doesn't mean that (child abuse) goes away," she said. "Child abuse is an important issue. It should be focused on."

Sam Cammack III, Mauldin's attorney, had asked jurors to consider his client's long history of mental illness and sentence him to probation so he could be treated at a hospital.

"He still doesn't get the treatment for mental illness that he needs," Cammack said. "He's not going to get that in prison."

Jurors deliberated for 6 1/2 hours over two days before sentencing Mauldin. They also fined him $10,000.

Prosecutors said Mauldin hurt his daughter because he was angry that he was in a loveless marriage. They also said Mauldin had a history of violence and of lying about being mentally ill to get out of trouble.

Mauldin claimed he started hallucinating when he was left alone in a Galveston hotel room with his daughter, feeling like mud was running up his body and consuming him.

Just before putting her in the room's microwave, he punched the then 2-month-old child and placed her in the room's safe and refrigerator.

Mauldin at first told police his daughter had been severely sunburned, later changing his story and saying he had accidentally spilled hot water on her while making coffee.

Ana suffered second- and third-degree burns to her left ear, cheek, hand and shoulder and required two skin grafts. Part of her left ear had to be amputated.

Joanie Mauldin pleaded for mercy, saying her son did not know what he was doing.

The girl's foster mother, Heather Croxton, told jurors Ana, now 1, screams during the daily process of cleaning the wounds and endures physical therapy five days a week.

Croxton, whose husband is a step-cousin to the girl's mother, Eva Mauldin, said she hopes to adopt Ana.

A trial to terminate the Mauldins' parental rights is scheduled for April. Eva Mauldin refused defense attorneys' requests to testify and lives in Arkansas.

via Associated Press

image from SMH.com.au

When Do Kids Stop Being Kids? 11?

2008-03-22T22:09:00.000-07:00

From the article - Modern Childhood Ends When Kids Turn 11

A study in Britain by children's book publisher Random House found parents are increasingly buckling to their children's demands to wear make-up, stay out late, drink alcohol, own a mobile phone and even stay over at their boyfriend or girlfriend's house.

The survey also found 54 per cent of children are allowed to dye their hair and wear make-up before they are 14.

Matt Sanders, founder of the Triple P Positive Parenting Program, said it was important that parents learned to say "no", set limits and not promote their child's development prematurely.

"Parents are trying too hard to be their child's friends, but children function and flourish better when they grow up in households with healthy boundaries," Mr Sanders said.

"Sometimes parents will over-compensate if they are time-poor and impulsively give into their child's demands.

"But allowing kids to do things before they're emotionally ready is a growing problem in Australia.

"Parents need to be able to say 'no' when their kids' demands aren't age-appropriate."

Brisbane mother of two Silvina Wexselblatt said she would not allow her two young daughters to buy their own clothes until they could afford items themselves.

The blurring of lines between tweens and teens is not just an international problem, Australian child welfare campaigner Hetty Johnston says.

"Marketing agencies and the media need to take some responsibility, as do parents and the kids themselves. Children should not be treated like mini-adults," she said.

Are You Raising Your Child FrankenKinder?

2008-03-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

We are breeding a generation of Frankenkinder. Coined in the US, the term refers to the children of the financially rich but time-poor. This generation of parents is trying to buy its children off, doing backflips so as not to disappoint them. But whatever parents give, it's never enough and the children they are raising are turning into monsters.

From to Telegraph.co.UK -- it's little wonder, then, that according to a Cambridge University report, classroom discipline is deteriorating because parents are overindulging their children. The study reveals that exposure to television, video games and computers is damaging children's development, leaving them unprepared for full-time education. Some are unable to hold a knife and fork - or use the loo.

It is a dangerous time to be young. Children are getting fatter - the report found one child who had seven chocolate bars as his packed lunch - and lazier. They do less sport. They are no longer allowed to go to the park unsupervised.

To compensate, we are spending vast sums on toys and computer games, hobbies and leisure activities to keep our children occupied. It's called the Parent Pound and businesses are capitalising on it, offering a never-ending range of courses from fencing to acting to rowing. Anything to keep them - and us - happy.

It's a vicious cycle. We are so controlling, orchestrating every aspect of our children's lives, trying to please, appease and protect. Yet, paradoxically, it is our children who are controlling us, as boundaries become dangerously blurred.

"We have bred a generation of children who are actually emotionally neglected," says Harriet Griffey, a parenting writer and broadcaster. "They may seem in the know, but have very few real age-appropriate experiences."

And they are swamped with choice - parents allow them to choose what to eat, what to wear, who to see, what clubs to join. The result is seven-year-olds who complain because there is no half-fat milk for the chai they've asked for in Starbucks.

We've forgotten how to say no.

"It's insanity," says Griffey. "Parents are treating children as adults. Children need boundaries. They need constant love and attention, but when rules need to be enforced, that is the parent's job."

Griffey believes that this inability to say no is because modern-day parents have lost confidence when it comes to child-rearing. "Parents are afraid that if they put down some ground rules, their children won't like them," she says.

"Most parents seem to think that parenting is about being their children's friends, so they lay down no rules at all. Now children have come to realise that whining and cajoling and maybe resorting to being just plain rude will get them what they want."

Take my friend Connie. She telephoned me the other day to tell me she was going to parenting classes as the behaviour of her two teenage boys had got out of control. "I've never laid down the law," she said, "and I always wanted to be a friend to them, but now I've turned into the kind of mother I don't want to be. I shout at them all the time. I think I hate them."

Wanting to be a friend with a child is a common problem. "But children want to have a parent - or two - to rebel against," says the self-help guru Nina Grunfeld. "They've got to hate you for a while. You've got to set boundaries that they can take umbrage with. Only then can they find themselves."

Child psychotherapist Asha Phillips, author of Saying No: Why It's Important for You and Your Child, believes the problem lies in the fact that modern parents don't want children, but extensions of themselves.

"No one wants to look like a mum. Women want to look younger and children want to look older. Everyone is dressed in the same clothes. In the past babies were dressed as babies. Now even three-month-olds are wearing designer clothes."

It doesn't stop at clothes. Toys are also an issue. The problem, according to Phillips, is that: "Toys tend to be acquired through extortion on the child's behalf, rather than as a gift. They have nagged for an MP3 player, say, and then they trash it because they think everything is replaceable."

They have no attachment to toys any more. Their PSP can never be an imaginary friend. They can't cuddle it or take it for a picnic. They learn no element of reciprocity."

But how much is to do with the parents and how much with modern life? For there is more than one element that goes towards making Frankenkinder.

Advertising, for instance, treats children as mini-adults. Children are sexualised at a much earlier age these days and many watch reality shows such as Big Brother from the age of eight upwards, which means they are exposed to an adult world.

Jo Schofield, author of Nature's Playground, thinks over-dependence on the television damages children emotionally as well as physically. "Creativity is disappearing. Children expect to be entertained, so they don't build up their imagination. Playing outside, where you don't have toys, is a great way to latch on to children's imagination.

"If children are stuck in a room they don't learn how to fall over and pick themselves up. Children don't learn to judge risks."

As parents we must learn to let them. And risk our children's disapproval when we tell them that they can't always have their own way. This is something my friend, Connie, with the unruly teenagers learnt the hard way. The parenting classes helped her to regain her confidence.

"I now see that you need to ask for help," she says. "You need a set of structures to help you be a good parent. I didn't want to chastise the boys, as I felt I would lose their love, but they ended up treating me appallingly. Now I feel I must give them tough love. It's the only way."

via Telegraph.co.uk

American Idol's David Archuleta Has The Ultimate Stage Dad?

2008-03-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

According to NYMag yesterday, we wondered how American Idol front-runner David Archuleta got to be such a strong contender. And now we know — he has a crazy overbearing stage dad! Allegedly! Entertainment Tonight is reporting that Archuleta's less-than-perfect performance of "We Can Work It Out" on Tuesday's episode may have been the result of an argument with his father on Monday. Purportedly unimpressed with the subpar quality of his son's singing, Jeff Archuleta "yelled at David during a recording session … and even brought him to tears."

According to blog L.A. Rag Mag, this isn't the first time Jeff's lost his temper. Citing a "reliable source," they say he harassed several other contestants when David was competing on Star Search in 2003, and was eventually banned from the set after making intimidating phone calls to some poor 12-year-old girl (she eventually beat David on the show).

Sure, you can probably argue with his methods, but there's no denying that the guy gets results. Through some magic (and alleged!) combination of shouting, shaming, and forced ambition, he's managed to create the greatest American Idol contestant in the show's seven-year history. When was the last time we truly saw a stage parent of this caliber? Murry Wilson? Joseph Jackson? It's almost sad to think about all those movies and TV shows ruined by less-talented children whose parents hadn't been nearly so vigilant and/or domineering. Jeff Archuleta, Vulture salutes you!

(image from LA Times)

Five Necessities of Good Parenting

2008-03-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

From Brainbridge News, here are Five Necessities of Good Parenting by Dayna M. Watson, LAPC

Parenting is one of the most rewarding and challenging journeys that most of us will ever face. When our children are born, we get advice from family members, friends, church family and even strangers.

Although, there are several ways to raise well-adjusted, happy children, there are five key factors that are necessary for good parenting.

The first factor is warmth. As a parent, you should be the warm, safe place your child can run to. Warmth does not imply weakness, lack of discipline or mushiness, but instead a safe strength that allows the child to come to you, even when he or she is in trouble.

Second, good parenting requires consistency. Whether they verbalize it or not, children want and need structure and consistency in their environment. You should have consistent rules and expectations, consistent love and attention for children, and consistent ideas among the adults in the household.

Discipline is another key element of good parenting. Children need to understand the concept of cause and effect. Whether we are children, teenagers or adults, our choices have consequences. Discipline should be a consistent, loving way of teaching your children about life and adulthood.

A fourth important element is love. It may seem ridiculous to include this as a key element of good parenting, but it is not a given that all parents love their children. Sometimes in order to show our children the love they deserve, we have to face our own childhood experiences and face the effects that experience may have had on our emotional health and well-being.

Finally, humor is absolutely necessary for good parenting. Without the ability to laugh (at yourself or the situation, not your child!), parenting would often be too much to handle. No one is perfect, not even you. Parenting is hard work. Let go of the need to be perfect, and learn to see your mistakes as chances to learn, enjoy a good laugh, and move on.

(image from Fisher-price.com)

Relationship Between Autism And Vaccination Highlighted In Recent Settlement

2008-03-07T03:41:00.000-08:00

This article from AP speaks of a girl's parents who won a government settlement described how their hearts were broken as they watched their healthy, red-haired toddler transformed into an irritable, odd-behaving child after she got several childhood shots.

"Suddenly my daughter was no longer there," said Terry Poling, the girl's mother, in a news conference Thursday. She and her husband Jon said their daughter Hannah, now 9, has been diagnosed with autism.

The government has agreed to pay the Polings from a federal fund that compensates people injured by vaccines. The amount of the settlement hasn't been set yet. U.S. officials reject the idea that vaccines cause autism, but they say that in this case the shots worsened an underlying disorder that led to autism-like symptoms.

The Polings said five simultaneous vaccinations in July 2000 led to Hannah's autistic behavior. She was about 18 months at the time.

U.S. health officials have consistently maintained that vaccines are safe, and the head of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Thursday that there was no change in that position.

"Nothing in any of this is going to change any of our recommendations" about the importance of vaccines for children, said Dr. Julie Gerberding. "Our message to parents is that immunization is lifesaving."

In the Polings' first appearance since their case became public this week, the Athens, Ga., couple acknowledged their legal case never got to the point where evidence was argued.

They called on the government to remove thimerosal — a mercury-based vaccine preservative — from all flu shots. Thimerosal has already been removed from other vaccinations given to children.

"Why take a chance?" asked Jon Poling, a 37-year-old neurologist.

The Polings, accompanied by Hannah, said that as a toddler, their daughter was a bright child who could whistle on command. But almost immediately after the vaccinations nearly eight years ago, she became feverish and irritable. Then, her behavior gradually changed so she would stare at fans and lights and run in circles.

"It wasn't like a switch being turned off. It was more like a dimmer switch being turned down," Jon Poling said.

Government health officials conceded that the vaccines exacerbated an underlying condition and that she should be paid from the federal vaccine-injury fund.

Autism advocates called Hannah's case a "landmark decision," although the Polings' own attorney disputes that.

"This was not a court decision," said Clifford Shoemaker, who is based in Vienna, Va. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services conceded the case before the court was asked to make a determination, he added.

Government officials wouldn't discuss why they conceded this particular case, but said people with pre-existing disorders can obtain compensation under the program if they establish that their underlying condition was "significantly aggravated" by a vaccine.

Medical and legal experts say the narrow wording and circumstances probably make the case an exception — not a precedent for thousands of other pending claims.

"This does not represent anything other than a very special situation," said the CDC's Gerberding.

Hannah has a disorder involving her mitochondria, the energy factories of cells. The disorder — which can be present at birth from an inherited gene or acquired later in life — impairs cells' ability to use nutrients. It often causes problems in brain functioning and can lead to delays in walking and talking.

Experts argued over how common the disorder is, and by implication, how many other vaccine cases might be affected.

"Most children with autism do not seem to have a mitochondrial problem, so this association ... is probably relatively rare," said Dr. Edwin Trevathan, a pediatric neurologist who heads the CDC's birth defects center.

The United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation, a Pittsburgh-based group that raises money for research, says there are more than 100 types of mitochondrial disease, and genetic tests can find only a couple dozen.

The Polings were exploring two theories about what happened to Hannah. One is that she was born with the mitochondria disorder and the vaccines caused a stress to the body that worsened the condition. The other was that the ingredient thimerosal caused the mitochondrial dysfunction, Jon Poling said.

Since 2002, the preservative thimerosal has been removed from shots recommended for young children, except for some flu shots.

Medical Writer Marilynn Marchione in Milwaukee contributed to this report.

On the Net:

CDC Autism Information Center: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/
United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation: http://www.umdf.org/site/c.dnJEKLNqFoG/b.3041929/

Parents, avoid spanking your children. They may become sexually problematic

2008-03-02T03:52:00.000-08:00

Some advice for parents about discipline, please be careful about spanking your children. I am not averse to discipline, and yes at times I have spanked my child, but always with the proper explanation and sometimes even an apology. But spanking has been very sparing, very seldom, and hardly ever painful. Here's an article entitled "Study: Spanking can bring problems later."

New research by a University of New Hampshire domestic abuse expert says spanking children affects their sex lives as adults. Professor Murray Straus concludes that children who are spanked are more likely as adults to coerce partners to have sex, to have unprotected sex and to have masochistic sex.

Other studies have shown the link between spanking and physical violence, but Straus said his research is the first to show a link between corporal punishment and sexual behavior.

"My underlying motive was to bring this to the attention of parents and of more people," Straus said, "in the hope it will help continue the decrease in the use of corporal punishment."

Straus, co-director of UNH's Family Research Laboratory, conducted a study in the mid-1990s in which he asked 207 students at three colleges whether they'd ever been aroused by masochistic sex. He also asked them if they'd been spanked as children. He found that students who were spanked were nearly twice as likely to like masochistic sex.

He has bundled that study with three new ones that explore the connections between corporal punishment, coerced sex and risky sex. He presented all four studies this week at the American Psychological Association's Summit on Violence and Abuse in Relationships in Bethesda, Md.

Straus said his study found adults who were spanked as children are more likely to coerce their partners to have sex.

Straus asked 14,000 college students in 32 different countries whether they strongly disagreed, disagreed, agreed or strongly agreed with this statement: "I was spanked or hit a lot before age 12." He also asked whether they had ever verbally or physically coerced an uninterested partner to have sex.

He found a big difference between students who said they'd been hit a lot before age 12 and those who said they hadn't. For every increased step on Straus's four-step scale of agreement, men were 10 percent more likely to have verbally coerced sex from a partner by insisting on sex or threatening to end the relationship if the partner refused. Women were 12 percent more likely to have done that.

Previous studies have shown that 90 percent of parents strike their toddlers, a statistic that's held steady throughout the 30 years Straus has researched corporal punishment. Meanwhile, the number of parents who hit older children has drastically decreased. Straus said it's unclear why, though he has some theories. One is that 2- and 3-year-olds are less likely to respond to repeated verbal warnings.

Straus said he would like more pediatricians and child-rearing experts to warn against spanking. He'd also like lawmakers to take a stand by dedicating state money to teaching parents about the dangers of corporal punishment.

"The best-kept secret in child psychology is that children who were never spanked are among the best behaved," Straus said.

From AP via Yahoo News
Image from Benettontalk.com

What Is Attachment Parenting?

2008-02-24T01:40:00.000-08:00

This Freep.com article attempts to introduce modern-day parents to the concept of Attachment Parenting. Parents become interested in attachment parenting after reading child-raising books by William and Martha Sears, the doctor-and-nurse husband and wife who collectively have become the modern Dr. Spock. They wrote "The Attachment Parenting Book" (Little, Brown, $14). Others hear about attachment parenting through La Leche League or Mothering magazine; both encourage the approach.

"It sounds like a throwback to good, instinctual parenting," says Larry Ro-Trock, a psychologist and family therapist in Kansas City. "Kids and parents need to be connected before they separate. A lot of adults who have problems didn't have a sufficient parental bond."

Attachment parenting differs from traditional parenting in many ways: Mothers tend to have drug-free births, sometimes at home. They often use cloth diapers, natural baby-care products and organic food.

"Attached parents often question mainstream thinking," says Brookie-Lee Glaser of Lee's Summit, Mo. The 22-year-old mother uses the parenting style with her two sons, ages 2 and 10 months.

Some tenets of attachment parenting are controversial:

Co-sleeping

Amy Lande, a child and family therapist in Overland Park, says attachment parenting is based on the work of British psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the 1950s. She says the original principles are solid, but fears today's attachment parenting has evolved into a new form she says can be dangerous, especially when parents and their children sleep in one bed.

"It's a safety issue, especially when you have an infant, adults, blankets and pillows," says Lande, who counseled a client who slept with her baby and the infant suffocated.

The American Academy of Pediatrics also cautions against parent-and-child co-sleeping because of the risk of suffocation. Some parents who practice attachment parenting use co-sleep mattresses that secure to the parents' bed or keep bassinets or cribs in the master bedroom so they can easily breast-feed in the middle of the night.

But some parents who use a king-size bed believe they can safeguard the infant by positioning him or her away from pillows and fluffy bedding. Attachment Parenting International, an organization based in Alpharetta, Ga., advises co-sleeping only for parents who don't use drugs, alcohol or sleep medications and who have a firm mattress.

Parental intimacy

That's the first thing people ask about attachment parenting because of co-sleeping, attachment parents say. They point out that intimacy doesn't have to happen in the bedroom.

"You just have to be creative," Smith says.

Lande has reservations.

"I don't think it's good for adults and their relationship. I have a lot of clients who have problems getting their children out of their beds," she says.

Extended breast-feeding

American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breast-feeding infants for at least one year for developmental and bonding benefits. But they say children should be given whole milk between the ages of 1 and 2 to get dietary fats they need.

Many attachment parents breast-feed their children longer, even past the age of 3. Pediatricians say it's OK as long as the child also gets whole milk.

Smith breast-fed her son, Aden, until he was 21 months old. She also gave him whole milk.

Dads

Attachment parenting often revolves around moms and their kids. Dawud Hasam remembers feeling left out for the first few months of his son's life.

"Breast-feeding just kind of naturally does that with dads," he says.

But Hasam says he bonded with his infant son because he was best at swaddling him, wrapping him up in a blanket, and rocking him. Hasam also carried his son around the house in a backpack carrier.

Discipline

A major aspect of attachment parenting is positive discipline, which means consequences for actions are explained without raising voices or spanking. Many attachment parents don't give timeouts.

"With negative discipline, more is caught than taught," Ro-Trock says. "It shows the child it's OK to yell and argue."

But Lande says attachment parenting can go overboard, especially when it comes to positive discipline.

"I think it can foster dependency if you meet every need of children toddler-age and older," she says. "Kids need to learn there are good and bad choices and that it's OK to fail. They need the chance to become their own person."

Cranky Babies? Don't Give Up Parents. According To Research, There's Hope

2008-02-18T04:17:00.000-08:00

Parents of cranky babies take comfort: they can turn out to be star students in Grade 1 if they have a healthy dose of good care, according to new research. An article on Canada.com cited parenting ways and advice to turn cranky kids into reasonable ones instead of juvenile delinquents.

Professors at two U.S. universities, according to the article, analysed data involving 1,364 children, starting at six months, and concluded that infants who cry more, are hard to settle down and do not respond well to new people and situations can develop stronger academic and social skills than babies who are easy to get along with from the start.

"Parents who have these babies who are hard to deal with can become very discouraged," said lead researcher Anne Dopkins Stright, a psychologist at the University of Indiana.

"The results of this study suggest they should not give up, they should stick with it and their child can do very, very well, in fact better than those easy babies that they probably wish they had."

The study concluded difficult infants respond more to good and bad parenting than laid-back babies, who are not as affected one way or the other. With bad parenting, the difficult babies more easily derail. With good parenting, they shine, the study found.

The study, which appears in the current issue of the academic journal Child Development, tracked children periodically from six months old until they were in Grade 1.

The researchers also examined the mothers' parenting skills, such as how they guided their children through the difficult toddler years and beyond.

Grade 1 teachers filled out questionnaires on their students' social skills, grades, interaction with classmates and their relationships with their teachers.

"I have a friend who had a very difficult baby and a very difficult toddler and I think the natural expectation is that that child might have problems later on," said Ms. Stright.

"I would have predicted that if you did a really great job parenting your child, the easy babies are going to be the ones who really do well, but that's not what we found."

On the flip side, the difficult babies who were poorly parented did worse in Grade 1 than did the easy babies who were poorly parented.

The study explains difficult babies simply have more sensitive central nervous systems and therefore their reactions are more intense overall.

The finding suggests early intervention and support services for parents who are having trouble coping with their temperamental babies are particularly important because it can make a big difference in the long run.

The next step for the researchers is to take another look at the same children, all of whom were born in 1990, to know if they continued on either a solid or shaky path.

(image from Missionmindedmanagement.com)

Time.com -- Stress In Pregnant Women Can Cause Schizophrenia In Children

2008-02-08T05:07:00.000-08:00

Time.com just published an article that tackles the correlation between a mother's disposition and the impact the negativity has on her child. So husbands please care for your wives. Pregnant women have such an effect on the children they carry. Read below for details, but if you'd like the original article, please refer to Stressed Moms, Schizophrenic Kids

Severe emotional stress during the first delicate months of a woman's pregnancy may permanently impair the neurodevelopment of her unborn child, leading to an increased risk of schizophrenia later in life, new research suggests.

The link between maternal stress and fetal development is not new: A study in the Lancet in 2000 suggested, for example, that a mother's stress during pregnancy may increase the risk of congenital brain malformations in her baby. And it has been well established that severe maternal stress is associated with low birth weight and premature birth. Now, a new study by British and Danish researchers in this week's Archives of General Psychiatry examines the impact of stress — the acute, agonizing kind, such as that experienced with death or sickness in the mother's immediate family, and not the run-of-the-mill anxiety of daily life — on the future psychiatric health of her offspring.

The study group consisted of 1.38 million births recorded in Denmark, from 1973 to 1995. Children were followed from age 10 until their death, their departure from Denmark, the onset of schizophrenia or the end of the study period in 2005. Researchers determined also whether the birth mothers had suffered extreme stress — due either to the death or illness (heart attack, cancer or stroke) of a first-degree relative — six months prior to and at any time during pregnancy. The data showed that women who experienced a close family member's death during the first three months of pregnancy had a 67% increased risk of having a child who would develop schizophrenia later in life. Stress before pregnancy or in late pregnancy had no such effect; neither did stress associated with a family member's illness.

Intuitively, it makes sense that death would have an impact that illness did not. "The problem with diagnoses of heart disease and that kind of thing is that it's likely that there has been worry about the health of that individual for some time," says the study's author, Kathryn Abel of the Centre for Women's Health Research at the University of Manchester. "Once somebody gets admitted with a heart attack or stroke or a serious illness, in some way there is relief because they're being managed — it might not be such an acute event, which we know death to be, even when someone has been ill for a long time. When they die, that's it."

If the severity of maternal stress matters, then one would expect the death of child to cause more injury than the death of a parent. Indeed, says Abel, her data hinted at such a response — compared with women who lost a parent, those who lost a child appeared to have a higher likelihood of giving birth to a child at risk for schizophrenia — but her sample size was too small to confirm the theory.

How the mother's emotional stress impacts her fetus's growth is still mostly a mystery. It's possible that increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol interfere directly with fetal development. Or it may be that the mother's stress response triggers a cascade of other chemical changes — in her immune system, in blood levels of sex hormones, or perhaps in cell-signaling proteins called cytokines — that may indirectly affect early fetal development. Whatever the exact mechanism, its effects lend credence to the theory that starting early in pregnancy, "mothers transmit information to their fetus about what condition they're likely to be born into — whether they're going to be thrifty and expect to be in a relative state of starvation, for example, or whether they can expect plenty — a clear evolutionary advantage," says Abel. "But it may be that in some settings, it has an adverse consequence because it restricts the growth of the fetus, and perhaps causes abnormal development of the brain, which makes it more susceptible to diseases, such as schizophrenia."

Though the current study looked only at schizophrenia risk, Abel and her collaborators at the University of Aarhus believe that maternal stress may have a similar effect on the risk of other conditions, among them depression and other mental disorders, along with social consequences such as the risk of criminal conviction or the likelihood of marriage, "things that tend to cluster in the deprived," says Abel. "We have not shown that this is specific to schizophrenia. We've just only looked at schizophrenia."

Abel hopes to replicate her findings in Sweden — with a bigger study population and richer data, including the socio-economic status of mothers. "Social class is one of the big, enduring predictors of risk of mental illness. The lower the social class the higher the risk. You're born with this risk," says Abel.

The other big congenital risk factor is genetics, first-degree family history being the most powerful risk factor for schizophrenia. And, in fact, the new study found that the added risk associated with maternal stress disappeared in children whose mothers already had a family history of mental illness — showing once again that the interplay of environment and genes is anything but straightforward.

Researchers Say Parenting The Supernanny Way Does Not Improve Behaviour

2008-02-03T05:22:00.000-08:00

Contrary to the much publicized Supernanny parenting style, the method itself doesn't seem to be making kids any better than parenting by normal means according to this Independent.co.uk article. Toddlers subjected to Supernanny-style parenting end up behaving just as badly as other youngsters.

Modern methods of disciplining children, such as those advocated by the Channel 4 childcare expert, Jo Frost, do little, if anything, to improve children's behaviour, according to new research published in the British Medical Journal.

And forcing disobedient toddlers to have "quiet time" to reflect on their bad behaviour – a technique that has been widely adopted by British parents – made no difference to children's behaviour, the study showed.

Researchers in Australia looked at the effects of disciplining 700 children in Melbourne, in Victoria state, from the age of one. The mothers of half the children were allowed to bring them up as they thought best. The other half attended parenting classes and were taught how best to develop "a warm and sensitive relationship" with their toddler.

Advice included abandoning "smacking and yelling" in favour of ignoring or distracting a misbehaving child. The mothers were also encouraged to praise children when they did something right, rather than punishing them when they did something wrong.

Parents attended two two-hour classes designed by experts at the Royal Children's Hospital in Victoria which aimed to prevent defiance and aggression among toddlers, while reducing the stress felt by mothers.

By the age of two, youngsters whose mothers had attended the classes were no less naughty than the others. And the mothers who had attended the parenting classes were just as stressed as the other women. However, the programme did reduce harsh parental discipline and lessen parents' inappropriate developmental expectations of their children.

The researchers said that while it was important to tackle bad behaviour at an early age, there was no evidence to support introducing such disciplinary programmes on a wide scale. "It did not lead to more nurturing parenting," their report said. "We showed no significant impact on externalising behavioural problems in two-year-olds or on maternal mental health."

Between 5 and 10 per cent of children in the UK between five and 15 years are judged to have clinically significant conduct disorders and the problem is highest in socially disadvantaged areas. This latest research was the first study to evaluate a parenting programme which was open to all families rather than just being available to high-risk households.

So you may want to draw the line between what you see on television versus real life. Children are after all people - and they are very different - and as they say - different strokes for different folks.

Difficulty Raising Your Kids? Here Are 5 Sure Fire Tactics From Dr. Ruth Peters

2008-01-27T04:43:00.000-08:00

Here are 5 tactics that MSNBC Author Dr. Ruth Peters swears by, entitled Raising your kids: 5 tactics that really work!

Let’s keep it simple and focus on five, beginning with one of my favorites:

Don’t major in the minors
Five small words that speak volumes: Let the small stuff go! I’m sure that if you look back over the past 12 months you’ll remember lots of arguments and fusses that really amounted to nothing or very little. A rule of thumb that I’ve tried to use with my own family as well as my clients is that “If it won’t have a lasting effect beyond a few days, let it go.” Sound too simplistic? Perhaps in some cases, but most of the time it’s a sanity saver. I’ve never heard of a kid being harmed by skipping the tooth brushing for a few nights, or by not using soap in the shower, or by the bed actually being made only on sheet-changing days. Or, if your son is too tired to complete the homework once in a while, you may let him get up early the next morning and finish the math problems.

What is important, though, is that your focus is upon the important things, which may be different from your neighbor’s list of priorities. In your house having dinner together at least three or four times a week may be important as it helps keep communication cooking and children eating some nutritious foods. Your family code of values (what’s major, not minor) may involve sticking with rules about cell phone usage, not sneaking around and actually being where you say you will be, abstinence from substance use, etc. It’s different for everyone, but try to focus upon issues that involve education, safety, avoidance of illegal activities and hanging around decent kids. If your daughter wants to try blue streaks in her hair, perhaps that’s a possibility in the summer when it won’t be so embarrassing if it’s a disaster. Roll with some of the requests, compromise when possible, but stick to your guns on the big stuff.

Assume your home is wired to a nanny-cam
Trust me; I know how easy it is to forget about gratitude, politeness and manners at home! On a daily basis it’s often a drama including short tempers, difficult kids, demanding parents and spouses who send each other service messages rather than truly communicating (pick up the cleaning, walk the dog … not “How was your day?”). That’s normal, but not nice. And, you can do a better job just by “assuming” that your associates and friends will see your home videos and get a real look at how the family treats each other. Being “on tape” is a great motivator for watching your language (knocking off the negative tone of voice, requesting rather than demanding, cleaning up the four-letter words and just being more polite with your spouse and kids).

If you don’t believe the power of assuming you’re on tape, actually set up a camcorder for one evening when everyone’s at home and you’re trying to negotiate dinner, homework chores and who gets first access to the remote control. Then, take a look at your family’s production. Is it something that you’d like Margaret at the office to see? How about your mother-in law — would she approve or go into “I told you so …” mode? At the very least, it’s a fun activity, but hopefully you’ll see where some improvements in common courtesy, politeness and body language need to occur.

Put guilt in its place — generally in the trash can!
Guilt can be a handy and useful motivator when necessary — “If your friend finds out that you’re gossiping about her, she may not want to play with you again” makes sense, and helps to teach your child that there are consequences attached to her words or behaviors. Go for guilt, when it’s being used for a teachable moment. However, parents tend to fall too quickly, too deeply and too often into the guilt mode when kids are involved. Parents hate, yes, hate, to disappoint their children, and we’d probably be able to uncover an evolutionary basis for that feeling if we were to take the time to analyze it. But, just as we no longer really need our gallbladder, tonsils or last year’s fruitcake, many guilt moments are no longer of value either.

Saying no to a kid is a disappointment, but it can also be a teachable moment. Children must learn to tolerate frustration, to learn to work for greater goals rather than to expect all to come to them in the present, and to evolve into a being that accepts and understands another’s point of view. Do not, and let me repeat — do not cave in to nagging, negotiating and complaining when you truly disagree with the kid’s request just to avoid feeling bad about it. She’ll get over her anger before you even begin to work through your guilt.

As you’re feeling awful as a parent and obsessing upon whether your stand was fair, she’s most likely moving on and considering how to sit next to the cute guy in World History. Kids are resilient — it’s really difficult to get them down, and they are often pros at knowing how to push your guilt button proficiently. Grow a spine and try to put budding guilt feelings in their place as soon as you perceive that the kid got to you and your feelings of remorse are beginning to blossom. Remember, if your decision is fair, then your guilty feelings are probably irrational. Illogical, but probably par for the course for the parent who just wants the kid to love them!

If it didn’t work last year, try something new
Sure, most of the parenting books suggest using time-out, limiting television or other electronics, or grounding for inappropriate behavior. Generally these consequences work and change the child’s behavior, but what do you do if your child is particularly ornery, or just doesn’t care about TV, music, clothing or the typical things that motivate all your friends’ kids?

Well, you need to get smart, to think outside of the box, and to try something new. First, take a gander at what’s up with the child’s bedroom. Favorite possessions or activities are usually found in the bedroom, and you may be able to discern a pattern of priority from checking out what’s posted on the walls or stacked on the desk. I’ve learned that every kid is different and that there are always motivators that they will work for (in terms of earning more, or not wanting to lose what they already possess).

Some of the more unusual motivators that I’ve used with my clients are earning: military memorabilia (medals, patches, ribbons), completing a chemistry set project or electronics project, accumulating flip-flop sandals in all of the colors, belt buckles, classic rock 'n' roll albums, hermit crabs and hermit crab accessories, nail polish in assorted colors, arts and crafts materials (Popsicle sticks and glitter glue are favorites), tickets to concerts, picking the restaurant for the family to go to dinner, renting a DVD or video game, extra time up at night or on the computer, sleeping in the living room, camping in the backyard, making Dad play Barbies, Mom go paintballing, wearing the same outfit to school five days in a row (go figure!) and the list goes on and on. I once had a kid who wanted to earn figs. Yes, figs. The kid couldn’t stand chocolate, but he wanted dried fruit and was willing to try to control his temper if figs were in the future.

Also, consider the negative consequences that you’re employing. Ten minutes in bedroom time-out is generally a waste of time, but a half hour in a safe, boring spot (empty hallway, safe bathroom, utility room with no chemicals or dangerous objects) generally will get the kid’s attention. Of course, electronics are huge motivators, but be sure that if you take them away as consequences that the child can’t sneak usage.

Focus upon teaching compassion and gratitude as you would math and reading
Sure, a 1600 on the SAT sounds terrific, but does the kid care about other people? An IQ of 135 is nice, but it’s the EQ (emotional quotient) that really counts when it comes to making it as an adult in the work force, relating successfully with a spouse and raising one’s own children appropriately. Yes, homework needs to be completed, and academic gaps should be filled. We all want our children to be bright and literate and to achieve to their capacity in the academic setting. But how about in their hearts, souls and value systems?

Take some time with them to discuss right from wrong, how it feels to be in someone else’s shoes, why people make the decisions they do and the consequences (good and bad) that result. Let this be the year that your children remember the family volunteering and giving back to the community. Consider working some Sundays at the soup kitchen, visiting, reading to or playing games with the residents at a nursing home, helping out at Habitat for Humanity, having a garage sale and donating the profits to a favorite charity or local event, or helping out at the pet shelter. And, please don’t just drop off the kids as they do their service hours — join in. Donate your time, your caring, and perhaps some money if possible. The kids have recently received gifts for the holidays, let’s take the next 12 months to promote giving, not getting.

Hopefully you’ll be able to incorporate some of these ideas into your New Year’s resolutions …trust me, they work!

My Parenting Style Can Make My Child Fat?

2008-01-20T00:35:00.000-08:00

When I read this article by Gail Saltz, I could help but relate to the idea that a parent like me can indeed lead my child towards obesity. In here she relates how parenting styles mold children's behavior and eventually affect how our children grow up. For a summed up version, refer below but more of the article, click here

The demand-free style of parenting is called "permissive." If you think you are a permissive parent, watch out: Though you may be warm and loving, you are not teaching your child to manage his or her desires and wishes — in other words, your child is not learning to tolerate the idea people don't always get what they want when they want it.

This style of parenting correlates with childhood obesity, but so do other styles. On the opposite end of the parenting style spectrum, an authoritarian style (having high demands for self-control but without being warm or loving) and a neglectful style (having few expectations for self-control but also not being warm or loving) also correlate more highly with kids being overweight.

So what's the healthiest style of parenting, then? It's something called authoritative parenting (not to be confused with authoritarian, explained above). In this school of parenting, moms and dads expect their children to exhibit self-control, but at the same time, remain warm and loving toward them. This method is the only style not linked to weight issues in children, and it also helps kids develop the ability to manage self-control and frustration (which, as you can imagine, helps in many areas of life).

Many parents think they can be "friends" with their child and are therefore averse to having conflict with their child. If that sounds like you, consider that you are ultimately doing both of you a disservice. Kids need clear limits and they benefit from being taught how to manage their desires and wishes. When these limits are placed in an environment that also says "I really love and value you," then you have a recipe for an adult who will be able to exert self-control and not suffer too much in the process.

Eating behavior is very emotionally charged and equipping your child with his or her own inner voice that says, "I can’t eat more of that" or "I really shouldn't have that junk food, and I can find another way to soothe myself" will help prevent them from being overweight as adults. Childhood obesity is becoming a serious national health crisis — help your child to be happy and healthy by setting limits and telling them you know they can do it.

5 Tips To Avoid Getting Broke With Kids

2008-01-18T02:08:00.000-08:00

Here's a nice article I found on MSNBC Parenting. It's entitled, "Kids driving you brok? 5 tips" by By Kate Ashford of Money magazine

Five Ways to Get Your Family’s Financial Spending Under Control

1. Examine your motives
To hear your kids talk, everyone has an iPhone and a new car, except them. But perhaps you too believe you'd be depriving them by refusing. When it comes to expensive activities, such as skiing or an over-the-top Sweet 16, consider: Are you paying for this because your kids will really enjoy it or because the neighbors do?

"There's nothing that says you have to have a party as big as everyone else's," says Plantation, Fla., financial planner Ben Tobias.

Or maybe you buy because you feel bad that you didn't make it to the school play or that you worked the past two weekends. "I call that ‘guilty giving,’ and it's a recipe for financial disaster," says psychotherapist Denise Cuthbertson.

While you're at it, take a look at your own purchasing habits. If you're buying a new SUV just because your best friend bought one, you're sending a message that you'll hear reflected in your children's demands.

2. Stop the whining
Say no to a kid? Easier said than done. But they might grasp the limitations of your budget if they see where your money really goes.

"All kids ever see you do with money is spend it," says Neale S. Godfrey, author of "Money Doesn't Grow on Trees." "They don't see you save, and they don't see you pay the bills."

At the end of the month, have your children watch you write the checks for the mortgage, electricity and car insurance — and even the credit card — so they see that plastic isn't free money.

If your teen is desperate for a pricey item, strike a bargain. You might offer to match her savings dollar-for-dollar or pay for a portion of the purchase. If she's jockeying for an iPod, you could buy the gadget but have her pay for the music downloads. In some cases, by the time they save up the money, they may not want the item anymore — a great lesson in impulse shopping.

"Sometimes delayed gratification will help them realize it's not as cool as they thought it was," says Charlotte, N.C., financial planner Cheryl Sherrard.

3. Teach money management
Teens and tweens with a clothing budget quickly learn that it's easy to blow $80 on a designer item, but they'll have a lot less left over for other things. Tell your kids you'll pay for the basics and give them an allowance they can use for everything else.

That's what Robin and Chris Korines of Nanuet, N.Y., do for their 12-year-old daughter Brittany. Robin buys $25 jeans for her younger children from Old Navy, but Brittany wants jeans that cost twice as much.

"I put in the normal amount I pay for the other kids, and she pays the difference," says Robin.

When it comes to holidays and birthdays, set a wish-list budget, says Godfrey. That way, if they want a really big-ticket item, they realize that they'll get fewer additional presents — and that's their call.

4. Save on the must-haves
There are expenses you can't avoid, but you don't have to pay full price.

"Everything's negotiable," says Mary Hunt, author of “Debt-Proof Your Kids.” You can often get a better deal if you pay all at once or entirely in cash.

Your son needs braces? Ask the orthodontist if he'll knock 10 percent off his price if you pay in cash or if he'd be willing to offer you an interest-free payment plan. Your daughter wants to go to summer camp? Ask if there's a counselor-in-training program she can join that will lower her fees. And don't forget that you can use your flexible spending account from work to pay for orthodontics, optometry bills or child care with pretax funds.

You don't want to discourage your kids from pursuing hobbies, of course, but that doesn't mean you have to pony up for an $800 violin or a $1,000 camera right away. Rent musical instruments, and buy a cheap digital camera until your kid shows real interest and dedication.

5. Nip surprises in the bud
The Millers recently opened their cell-phone bill to find that Kate had racked up $150 in text-messaging charges. Sound familiar? Teenagers can find endless creative ways to spend money, so take advantage of products that can help rein them in. Call your cable service and request a block on videos on demand, for example, or give Junior a gift card instead of a credit card to take to the mall.

But be realistic; no kid is going to give up text messaging altogether, so you're better off going with a cell-phone plan that lets him do it free of charge. The Millers, for their part, have started to cut back, asking the kids to pay for half of the items, such as video games, and refusing their request for computers in their rooms.

(image from Savingadvice.com)

How To Ease Children With Pneumonia - New Advice From WHO

2008-01-04T05:14:00.000-08:00

Here's an article from Reuters by Will Dunham on how to dealing with pneumonia in children. Not to be paranoid, but its helpful to know what we can do for children even before they're taken to the hospital.

I for one am terrified of hospitals, not only because they're expensive but also because sometimes I feel treatment hurts more than the sickness itself. Anyway the article goes to with WHO advising that children with severe pneumonia be referred to a hospital and treated with intravenous antibiotics. But many sick children in developing nations are unable to reach a hospital for such treatment, the researchers said. And oral treatment at home is much cheaper, they added.

Treating severe pneumonia in children at home with oral antibiotics works just as well as treating them with intravenous drugs at a hospital as advised by the World Health Organization, scientists said on Thursday.

Pneumonia is one of the world's leading child killers, particularly in South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa.

The researchers said their findings in this study of 2,037 children ages 3 to 5 in Pakistan should prompt the U.N. health agency to change its recommendations on treating severe childhood pneumonia.

About 2 million of the 10 million deaths annually in children under age 5 worldwide are caused by pneumonia -- an inflammation of the lungs caused by an infection.

"It exceeds malaria, it certainly exceeds HIV and it exceeds diarrheal diseases, too," Dr. Donald Thea of the Boston University School of Public Health, one of the researchers, said in a telephone interview.

The study involved children with severe pneumonia who arrived at hospitals in seven locations in Pakistan. About half were sent home to take an oral antibiotic, amoxicillin, in syrup form. The others were treated intravenously in the hospital with an equivalent antibiotic, ampicillin.

STUDY: HOME TREATMENT SAFE, EFFECTIVE

The treatment at home was just as safe and effective as the hospital treatment, the study found. Of the five children who died within 14 days of entering the study, one was treated at home, with the other four among the hospitalized.

WHO guidelines call for children with pneumonia that is not severe to be treated at home with oral antibiotics, but hospitalization and intravenous antibiotics for severe cases.

The researchers said the WHO guidelines can be ineffective in practice because many children with severe pneumonia in developing countries who are referred to hospitals for treatment never reach them because they have no means of transportation or are too far away.

The researchers envision medicine distribution to children with pneumonia by health-care workers in local communities.

Treatment with oral antibiotics also avoids the possibility of infection that can occur with administering intravenous drugs due to factors like unsterile needles, they added.

"Safe community-based treatment alternatives will substantially increase the number of children who can receive effective care" and save lives and money, the researchers wrote in the Lancet medical journal.

In an commentary accompanying the study, Dr. Shams El Arifeen of the International Centre for Diarrhoeal Disease Research in Bangladesh and Dr. Abdullah Baqui of Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore called the study "a milestone."

The findings should change the management of severe pneumonia in children in developing countries, they added, writing: "The potential impact here is enormous, particularly for the many children with severe pneumonia who are referred to hospitals but never reach them."

Thea said the findings and other data will be presented to the WHO next month, with the hope of getting new treatment recommendations in about nine months to a year.

(Editing by Stacey Joyce)

How "Normal" Kids Deal With Siblings Who Have Autism

2007-12-27T22:43:00.000-08:00

I came across a great article from Time.com entitled Autistic Kids: The Sibling Problem. It illustrates how "typical" children cope with their siblings that have autism. It enumerates challenges these children face with regards to playing with their siblings and how parents treat them as well. It reflects children's fears and how they deal with the rest of the world as well.

Here's an excerpt from the article:

The "typically developing" siblings of autistic children are, in fact, the furthest thing from typical. Often, they are wiser and more mature than their age would suggest. And they have to be, given the myriad challenges they face: parental responsibility; a feeling of isolation from the rest of their family; confusion, fear, anger and embarrassment about their autistic sibling. And on top of all of it, guilt for having these feelings.

As their parents, there's a lot we can do to help. For starters, we can educate them early on, by explaining their sibling's disorder — a conversation that should be ongoing. Dr. Raun Melmed, co-founder and medical director of the Southwest Autism Research and Resource Center in Phoenix, suggests including non-autistic children in visits to the doctor or other autism professionals. Early intervention doesn't have to be "thought of as being geared only to the involved child," Melmed says. In his office, Melmed reassures siblings that "other brothers and sisters have negative and confusing thoughts about their [autistic] siblings. That is common." He also instructs parents to reaffirm that message at home. "Parents need only acknowledge to their healthy children that they know what they are going through and that negative feelings are normal," he says.

A great way for kids to feel "normal" is to meet other siblings of autistic children, which they can do at sibling workshops. At the Kennedy Krieger Institute for children with developmental disabilities in Baltimore, social worker Mary Snyder-Vogel runs a program called Sibshops. "The workshops give these kids the opportunity to realize they're not alone," Snyder-Vogel says. "[We play] a lot of games that help them interact and problem-solve with peers. Kids don't even realize they're getting support."

At a recent Sibfun workshop at the Jewish Community Center on Manhattan's Upper West Side, therapists used puppet shows to illustrate issues that are common among siblings of special-needs kids. When asked what they thought the puppets were feeling, the children in the audience needed no prompting, immediately shouting out words like sad, disappointed and jealous.

Siblings will commonly have negative feelings — some might never connect or want to connect with their autistic siblings — but the good news is that typical siblings often turn out to be more compassionate and caring than average. "These siblings have seen what it's like to have a hard time in life," says Sandra Harris, executive director of Rutgers University's Douglass Developmental Disabilities Center, a program for people with autism spectrum disorders and their families, and author of Siblings of Children with Autism: A Guide for Families (Woodbine House).

(image from Healthofchildren.com)

Who Cares If He's Not The Real Santa?

2007-12-23T02:23:00.000-08:00

Here's a really nice article from Pittsburgh Tribune entitled "Santa's Helpers." It's a charming article about how mall Santas actually promote the spirit of Christmas and just help out Santa by hearing children out.

Santa Claus bent over to pick up the little boy, a dark-haired sprite who already was waving his hands to describe the toys on his Christmas wish list.

As Santa reached down, the curls parted on his white beard, exposing smooth cheeks and a clean-shaven chin. Never noticing, the boy prattled on, excited because it was finally his turn on Santa's lap.

For a few brief moments, the boy held both Santa's white-gloved hand and his undivided attention.

And in those moments, it was magic.

Every year, children around the world -- in malls, at parades, at parties -- share their secret Christmas wishes with the red-suited man whose flying reindeer carry a sleigh full of toys directly from the North Pole to their homes.

They love him, they trust him, and they don't judge him by his appearance, even if he's one of the thousands of helpers who fills in when the real Santa Claus is too busy making toys and getting ready for his Christmas Eve flight.

When children are caught up in the excitement of the season, Santa's helpers can be short or tall, chubby or thin, with real whiskers and velvet suits or fake beards and sagging, store-bought costumes.

"It's not about the beard and the belly. It's about the magic," says Susen Mesco, president of American Events in Denver, an entertainment firm that trains men to become professional Santas.

"There really isn't that much magic in the world for children anymore. What else do children really have that brings that kind of thrill and excitement? Santa is pretty much it."

People who believe in Santa Claus know that he is someone special. And Mesco says it takes special people to carry his spirit and message, so that's what she looks for when she accepts men into four-day training classes conducted every November.

"We look for their heart. What's inside? Do they care? Do they have the time? There are so few people who have so much goodness in their heart," Mesco says.

It's all about heart for Bill Huey, 49, of Brownsville, Fayette County, who has been helping Santa at the Uniontown Mall for almost 25 years. Soft-spoken, with a thick, naturally white beard that reaches to his chest, Huey says he considered taking a break from the season's seven-days-a-week schedule this year.

He couldn't stay away.

"I'll miss the kids if I don't do it," says Huey, whose four children are grown.

Every year, there are children who tug at Santa's heartstrings, helpers say. While most ask for toys and games and electronics, others ask for divorced parents to get back together, for fathers to come home from the war and for life's basic necessities.

"I had a kid come up to me and ask me for a home," Huey says, noting that Santa was able to help with assistance from local social service agencies.

Sometimes, children just need to talk.

Two years ago, Huey recalls, a little boy who had been blinded in an ATV accident described the event -- quietly sharing with Santa details he'd never told his parents.

"He wanted Santa to know that a dog ran in front of him, that he hadn't been doing anything bad to make the handlebar go through his eye. He didn't ask Santa to fix it; he just wanted to tell what happened and ask for a nice Christmas for his family," Huey says.

That's common, according to Mesco, who says that children sometimes feel as though they don't have anywhere else to turn with their problems.

"They confide in Santa and ask him for help when they're not getting answers anywhere else," she explains.

Huey, who first put on the red suit to visit a neighbor as a favor to his mother, says he's learned to be gentle with children to gain their trust. There's no roaring laugh, no loud "Ho, Ho, Ho" as he calls them to the red-and-white-striped sofa centered in a display in front of the Bon Ton department store.

He asks them what they want and listens patiently to their answers. If they're too afraid to climb onto his lap, he smiles and offers a coloring book. He reminds them to be good.

"The quieter and the more docile you are, the more comfortable they are. If you're hollering 'Ho, Ho, Ho,' you might please their parents, but you're scaring the little kids to death," Huey says.

Ralph Roe, 74, of Crafton, has been helping Santa in the Pittsburgh area for about 10 years under contracts with Entertainment Unlimited. For years before that, the career Navy man and former teacher arranged appearances on his own.

He explains that Santa's best helpers listen to children and "really become the character." He says there's a "whole scenario involved" to interact realistically with children who ask for everything from MP3 players to live ponies and dinosaurs.

"You have to love children to do it," he says.

Retired Army sergeant Rick Stadterman, 55, of Huntsville, Ala., bleaches his natural beard white every year to help Santa at Westmoreland Mall in Greensburg. He stays in the area while visiting relatives in Yukon, Apollo and Jeannette.

Kids say the darnedest things, according to Stadterman, who has been listening to their Christmas wishes for 15 years. Chuckling, he recalls a 6-year-old girl who recently asked him to place her presents outside the house, on the porch.

"She said she just didn't feel comfortable with me being in the house while she's sleeping," he says.

Men say there are many reasons behind their decisions to help Santa Claus handle the demands of his busy schedule. Money is low on the list, even though it can be a lucrative job.

Some helpers in smaller, rural malls earn as little as $8 an hour, while those who make personal appearances in big parades, do national advertising campaigns and work in larger malls in metropolitan areas can make as much as $60,000 in the six weeks leading to Christmas. The average in larger cities, many helpers say, is about $35,000 a season for 12-hours a day, seven days a week.

Helpers with natural beards are in demand and make more money in appearance fees for advertising and special events.

Depending on varying quality, suits can range from $29.99 to about $600, while beards run from $19.99 to $150. Belts and boots vary from black vinyl to supple leather, with buckles ranging from plastic to expensive gold.

But Mesco stresses that appearance often counts for little, while demeanor is everything.

"It's all about how they are in the trenches with the children," she says.

About 16 years ago, Dutch Schrap, 33, of Philadelphia inherited a plush 1950s velvet and rabbit-fur Santa suit when an older neighbor died. It had been worn by helpers in a Gimbel's department store.

He put it on and the rest is, well, magic.

He trademarked the name "America's Favorite Santa" and through his firm, North Pole Entertainment, he sees 10,000 to 15,000 children a year between events and parades. He counts Gov. Ed Rendell's holiday open house among his annual appearances.

"I always liked Santa as a kid, so I try to make them happy. If they're afraid, I play on the floor with kids, I give them candy canes ... anything to make it a positive experience for the child," says Schrap, who wears a store-bought beard and "lots of padding."

Ernie Watson, 50, an actor from East Millsboro, Fayette County, relied on patience, a quick wit and a natural beard -- bleached white during an eight-hour salon visit -- during a decade of helping Santa at Monroeville Mall in Monroeville and the former Greengate Mall in Greensburg.

He also studied.

Each Thanksgiving, he memorized advertisements and fliers from toy and department stores to make sure he'd recognize the hottest gifts on every child's list. He also learned to gauge reactions from parents when children asked for puppies and often recommended stuffed animals as an alternative.

Still, he hit a few snags. Once, he recalls, a little girl who wouldn't tell her mother what she wanted whispered her wish for a big gift to him a day or two before Christmas.

"I was able to tell her that it was too late, that the sleigh was already packed," he says, adding that he promised Santa would try to bring it at a later time.

In addition to handling difficult requests, filling in for Santa is strenuous work, helpers say. Days are long, filled with visit after visit from children riding a range of emotions from extreme joy to sheer terror.

They laugh, they cry, they scream. They wiggle and kick Santa's knees with sturdy shoes and snow boots. Some of the kids are heavy. There are always a few -- either in excitement or fear -- who wet their pants on his bright red suit.

"People don't think it's any work at all, but it's a lot of exercise, and just about anything can happen," Watson says. "You can't be impatient."

Dan Matthews, 34, of Pitcairn is just learning what it takes to be good. He's wearing the red suit, white beard and a padded belly during the day shift at Monroeville Mall for the first time this year.

Already, he knows he'll be doing it again.

He's seen a lot of children this holiday season, but one, a 4-year-old girl, sticks in his mind. In the middle of her Christmas wish list, she told him about her birthday and about her mother's birthday.

And then, she told him that her mother died and went to Heaven.

"I told her that her mother is watching her and is a proud of her," he says. "That really got to me."

Robin Acton can be reached at racton@tribweb.com or 724-830-6295.
(image from The National Library and Information System Authority of Trinidad and Tobago)

Recalled Vaccines - What Parents Should KNow

2007-12-16T02:49:00.001-08:00

MercuryNews.com reported that about 1.2 million doses of a common childhood vaccine for pneumonia and meningitis are being voluntarily recalled after its manufacturer found a sterilization problem in the Pennsylvania factory where it is made - potentially causing a shortage in the Bay Area and nationally that could last for months.

Merck on Wednesday announced the recall of 11 lots of its Hib (haemophilius influenzae type B) vaccine and two lots of a combination vaccine for both Hib and hepatitis B. The Hib vaccine is given to children in three doses starting at age 2 months. The vaccine has routinely been recommended since 1990.

The announcement of the recall had doctors around the Bay Area scrambling to see whether any of their supplies were affected. The San Jose Medical Group said it does not have any of the recalled vaccine, while HMO Kaiser Permanente said Wednesday night that it was still investigating.

The Palo Alto Medical Foundation, another large medical group, said it has pulled its supplies of the recalled vaccine and is still monitoring the situation. Parents with concerns can call their children's doctors, said Ben Drew, a spokeswoman for the medical group.

"Reassuring parents will take more time and energy than shipping back the vaccine," said Dr. Dean Didech, the San Jose Medical Group's top medical officer, referring to the recall's fallout.

Federal health officials said children who have already received the vaccine are not at risk and that none of the children who have received the vaccine will need to be re-immunized. Children who are supposed to receive the vaccine may have to wait until their pediatrician receives a new supply, but their health will not be harmed by the delay.

"This is not a health threatening situation right now for children, but it is an inconvenience" for doctors and parents, said Dr. Julie Gerberding, director of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "We'll try to do everything we can to try to restore access."

No one knows how many children may already have been vaccinated with recalled vaccine. However, Gerberding said, no adverse reactions in children have been reported to date. Merck also said it has not detected any actual contamination in either of its PEDVAXHIB or COMVAX vaccines. Yet the possibility of contamination exists, CDC officials said.

Any infections from the vaccine would probably show up at the inoculation site in the form of bumps or abscesses, said Dr. Anne Schuchat, who heads the CDC's national center for immunization and respiratory disease. Concerned parents should check with their children's doctors.

About 14 million doses of Hib vaccine are needed each year, and Merck and another manufacturer, Sanofi Aventis, each manufacture about half the needed doses. Sanofi's vaccines are not affected by the recall.

Although Sanofi is stepping up Hib vaccine production, the CDC also will release some of its stockpile of the vaccine to alleviate immediate shortages, officials said Wednesday.

Doctors nationwide may have had some inkling of problems with Merck's Hib vaccine as early as one month ago, when Merck notified the CDC that its Hib-only vaccine would be unavailable for shipment until 2008 because of a manufacturing concern, according to the American Academy of Family Physicians Web site.

The contamination involved unspecified equipment used in making the vaccine, which involves taking part of the Hib bacterium, diluting it and combining it with other agents. Barbara Kuter, executive director of pediatric medical affairs for Merck, said that during a routine evaluation of Merck's West Point , Pa. , vaccine plant, a sterility test determined that the equipment was contaminated with a bacteria called Bacillus cereus, or B. cereus.

It is a spore-making microorganism commonly associated with food poisoning and has caused diarrhea and vomiting in people who eat contaminated foods.

While some meningitis outbreaks have occurred in countries with shortages of the Hib vaccine, CDC officials said it would take at least a year without the vaccine before doctors would expect to see any increases in diseases caused by the bacteria that the vaccine protects against.

Schuchat noted that about 94 percent of U.S. toddlers are vaccinated on schedule, and that levels of the bacteria in the nation's communities are low.

"We have a nice cushion of protection as we go into this recall," she said.

Kid Sized Furniture

2007-12-12T03:52:00.000-08:00

Time.com's Style and Design Luxury Index featured kid sized furniture as the wave of the future. According to the article, Pint-size design mavens can now have something scaled down to their specifications as more and more furniture companies get in on the kid act.

Hästens is making tiny mattresses, and Poltrona Frau has taken its legendary Vanity Fair armchair and shrunk it for the smaller set. One-third the original size, the Art Deco-style Baby Vanity ($2,600) comes in classic bright red or candid ivory. All natural materials—from the Pelle Frau leather upholstery to the aged-beech frame—make for an ultra-stylish place to curl up.

Honey Can Soothe Coughing In Children

2007-12-05T03:19:00.000-08:00

The December issue of Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine concluded that honey may be a preferable treatment for the cough and sleep difficulty associated with childhood upper respiratory tract infection.

In the study published on Medpage Today, a half teaspoon to two teaspoons of buckwheat honey led to overall symptom severity scores of about nine on the second night, compared with 11 for honey-flavored dextromethorphan and 13 for no treatment at all, the investigators said.

"All of the outcomes found honey to yield the greatest improvement, followed by dextromethorphan, while no treatment consistently showed the least amount of improvement," the authors wrote. "For cough frequency, those who received honey had a mean 1.89-point improvement as rated by their parents compared with a 1.39-point change for those receiving dextromethorphan and a 0.92-point change for those who had no treatment on the second night (P<0.001).

They found that dextromethorphan was not significantly better than no treatment for any study outcome. "Similarly, pairwise comparison of honey with dextromethorphan revealed no statistically significant differences," the group said.

The study could not determine why honey would be effective, but the authors cited other research finding that honey contains antioxidant and antimicrobial compounds that conceivably could have an effect on cough symptoms. Dark honeys, including the buckwheat honey used in this study, appear to be relatively rich in these compounds.

Even now, they added, it would be reasonable for primary care doctors to recommend honey to parents for treating ordinary childhood coughs, or no treatment at all.

"The potential benefits of any intervention may not be worth the risks associated with treatment," they added. "For those [physicians] who do choose to offer therapy to children with cough, this study suggests that honey may be a reasonable option given its low cost, relatively low adverse effect profile, and potential benefit."

About the study...

unded by the National Honey Board, an industry-funded agency of the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

Dr. Paul reported financial relationships with the Consumer Healthcare Products Association and McNeil Consumer Healthcare. Other authors had no disclosures.

Primary source: Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine
Source reference:
Paul I, et al "Effect of honey, dextromethorphan, and no treatment on nocturnal cough and sleep quality for coughing children and their parents" Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med 2007; 161: 1140-46.

Additional source: Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine
Source reference:
Warren D., et al "The effect of honey on nocturnal cough and sleep quality for children and their parents" Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med 2007; 161: 1149-51.

MSNBC's 5 ways to make the most of holiday kid time

2007-12-03T05:31:00.000-08:00

From MSNBC's parenting site, here are 5 ways to make the most of your kids' time during the holiday season:

1. Get down on the floor and play with them.
Whether it’s playing with dolls or making train tracks, be a good playmate. Listen to your child’s imagination — let him or her guide the play, but give them your undivided attention (that means turn your cell phone off!).

2. Try a new craft project.
If you have school-age kids, try something new together that interests you both. Decoupage, tie-dye, needle crafts, sand bottles — it doesn’t matter what the project, just that you’re trying it together.

3. Make use of construction toys together.
Many of the construction toys on our list this year are labeled for kids ages 8 and up, which is not really realistic for independent building. But many of these projects would be ideal to tackle together. Again, be sure that you don’t take over the project while your child just watches. The goal is to engage in problem solving together.

4. Put on a puppet show.
Putting on a puppet show is more valuable in terms of storytelling and language development than many of the high-tech electronic learning machines. You don’t have to make up your own story — take a classic and act it out. These can be just for you to enjoy together or part of the holiday entertainment for your extended family. Have someone videotape the performance — you’ll be glad you did in about 10 years!

5. Play a video game.
If you have video gamers in your house and often feel excluded, try one! While your kids will tease you for your lack of skill with a controller (I’ve been there), you will get a glimpse into why they have a hard time walking away from these games that always have a “next level” to achieve.

Toy Safety Recall Update

2007-11-25T16:21:00.000-08:00

It's the holiday season once again, and this is the time children are loaded with gifts. In the midst of the toy recall scandal, an article on Macon.com, outline some of the statistics showing recent and old news about the toy recall. Since according to polls this will greatly affect holiday shopping for many parents, here's what the US and Chinese governments are doing about it, as well as online retailer initiatives in order to ease parents' minds over the toys being sold.

Statistics:

- The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission recalled 25.6 million individual toys from Oct. 1, 2006, through Sept. 31, 2007, said commission spokeswoman Nychelle Fleming.
- The year before, the commission recalled 5 million individual toys, she said.

- The difference is due to this year's high-profile recalls, such as Hasbro's Easy-Bake Oven and Mattel's Polly Pocket, Fleming said. The Polly Pocket recall alone affected 9.7 million individual toys.

- One-third of Americans say they will buy fewer toys this holiday season because of the recent recalls, and 45 percent say they will avoid buying toys manufactured in China, according to a Harris Interactive poll.

- Eighty-five percent of this year's recalled toys were made in China, Fleming said.

- Earlier this month, consumers were rocked by the recall of the popular children's toy Aqua Dots when it was discovered the toy's small beads metabolized into gamma hydroxy butyrate - otherwise known as the date-rape drug - if swallowed. About 4.2 million units of the Chinese-manufactured toy were recalled.

What's being done:

Even if items are manufactured in another country, they must meet U.S. regulations for sale here.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission has met with the Chinese government and signed new agreements for the Chinese to conduct pre-export inspections, Fleming said.

Earlier this month, the Center for Environmental Health, based in Oakland, Calif., conducted tests on 100 toys on retailers' shelves and found 9 percent of them contained illegal amounts of lead.

The toy industry maintains that the majority of toys on retailers' shelves are safe.

"Consumers have every reason to trust the safety of the 3 billion toys sold in America each year," according to a statement from the Toy Industry Association. "The toy industry works continuously to strengthen our rigorous testing and inspection procedures and ensure safe toys. While no one likes to see recalls, our ability to identify problems and recall products is one of the safety valves of the process. The recent recalls are product- and company-specific and do not reflect the fundamental safety of the toys on the shelves."

Still, retailers are doing their best to ease the fears of worried parents.Target has agreed to systematically reduce its use of polyvinyl chloride plastic, which commonly contains toxic additives such as lead and phthalates, in its products.

Meanwhile, Toys "R" Us has announced it sent updated safety protocols to its manufacturers, explaining how it now requires each product to be tested before it is sent to Toys "R" Us stores.

Parents who still have concerns can take steps themselves to decrease the chance their children may be harmed by an unsafe toy.

TOY SAFETY RECALL INFORMATION

2006: 40 toys; 5 million units; 3 of 40 involved lead; 70 percent made in China

2007: 61 toys; 25.6 million units; 19 of 61 involved lead; 85 percent made in China

SOURCE: U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

Are Your Kids Writing On Your Walls?

2007-11-23T04:24:00.000-08:00

If your answer to this question is yes, I can definitely empathize. My daughter just discovered her artistic side at the age of 4 and decided to do an exhibit with our room as the canvass. We had to wipe the stains from the markers off the wall, the table, the monitor - practically everywhere. There are still a couple of corners that have her scribblings but I guess I'll have to leave it there.

In order to avoid this, I actually asked her to help me clean up the mess. Just wanted to teach responsibility for her actions. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that it works. To supplement this though I got her a board where she can draw and/ or scribble, with ever so often reminders that she should draw/ write on paper and not on the house and/or furniture.

Be Careful About Buying Your Kids Jewelry

2007-11-21T23:24:00.000-08:00

CNN Money just put out an article today that says the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and Family Dollar Stores Inc. on Wednesday recalled nearly 205,000 children's jewelry items made in China due to excessive levels of lead.

The jewelry recalled was sold under the Rachel Rose and Distinctly Basics brand, which includes items such as key rings with "Mom" and cheerleaders charms.

Items recalled also included pins with religious themes, charm bracelets, silver-colored rings with designs or stones in a variety of colors, clutchless hoop earnings with decorations such as butterflies and long drop earrings with stones in a variety of colors.

Smoking In The Car With Children - BANNED In Canada

2007-11-20T05:07:00.000-08:00

Kudos to the Nova Scotia town who initiated this law to ban people from smoking in a vehicle when children are around. The Canadian Cancer Society applauded them too according to Canadian Press. And why not? Second hand smoke is very hurtful especially for children.

The law, expected to come into effect June 1, 2008, would prohibit exposing children under 18 to secondhand smoke in a vehicle. According to Health Canada, New Brunswick, Newfoundland and Labrador, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario and Quebec have since enacted similar laws.

The town plans to launch an educational campaign this week to warn residents about the new bylaw and draw attention to the harm caused by secondhand smoke in vehicles.

First-time offenders can expect a warning, but a subsequent offense will result in a fine of about $50. It's not much but it's a good start. I hope something like that will be made possible in the Philippines. It is the adults' responsibility to make sure children are safe. Everyone knows the harmful effects of smoking and personally I don't mind if adults choose to smoke. But when children are harmed in the process, then that becomes a problem for more than just that one person who is the smoker.

ADHD in Kids Explained

2007-11-17T04:12:00.000-08:00

Time magazine just published an article recently about ADHD being a done deal. Apparently neuroscientists has solved the puzzle of attention deficit hyperactive disorder. According to this article, this can all be attributed to the brain.

The cortex is said to be usually thick from back to front in childhood and this usually thins out as kids get older. However this is different for kids with ADHD, kids with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)--which affects 3% to 5% of school-age children--hit peak thickness in some regions an average of three years later than other kids. And the developmental lags are most pronounced in the part of the cortex that supports attention and planning.

The findings, published online this month in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, may help explain why many children diagnosed with ADHD eventually grow out of it, as their brains slowly become more similar to those of their peers. The study will continue to track hundreds of adolescents to see if any of the ADHD kids ever fully catch up. More research is also needed to determine why half the kids with the disorder still have it as adults.

(image care of Safe Kids Kansas Inc.)

Your Hyper Active Kid & Preservatives

2007-11-16T06:46:00.000-08:00

The Lancet, a leading British medical journal, shows that a variety of common food dyes and the preservative sodium benzoate — an ingredient in many soft drinks, fruit juices, salad dressings and other foods — causes some children to become more hyperactive and distractible than usual, as featured in Time magazine recently.

The research, led by Jim Stevenson, a professor of psychology at England's University of Southampton, involved about 300 children in two age groups: 3-year-olds and 8- and 9-year-olds. Over three one-week periods, the children were randomly assigned to consume one of three fruit drinks daily: one contained the amount of dye and sodium benzoate typically found in a British child's diet, a second drink had a lower concentration of the additives, and a third was additive-free.

All the children spent a week drinking each of the three mixtures, which looked and tasted alike. During each weeklong period, teachers and parents, who did not know which drink the kids were getting, used a variety of standardized behavior-evaluation tools — some observational and one computer-based — to size up such qualities as restlessness, lack of concentration, fidgeting, and talking or interrupting too much.

Stevenson found that children in both age groups were significantly more hyperactive when drinking the stuff containing additives. Three-year-olds had a bigger response than the older kids to the lower dose of additives — roughly the same amount of food coloring as in two 2-oz. bags of candy. And, there were big individual differences in sensitivity. While the effects were not nearly so great as to cause full-blown ADHD, Stevenson nonetheless warns that "these adverse effects could affect the child's ability to benefit from the experience of school."

The Lancet study is the first to nail down a link between artificial ingredients and hyperactivity, though the connection has long been suspected and was the basis for the Feingold Diet, which eliminates all artificial colors, flavors, sweeteners and preservatives and was popularized in the 1970s as a treatment for ADHD.

Though such a diet alone is not a proven treatment for ADHD, some clinicians routinely advise parents of kids with ADHD to stick with a more natural diet." I'm not maniacal about it, but I tell parents that your kid will do better if they are on a diet that is free of additives and junk food," says psychiatrist Edward Hallowell, author a several books on ADHD. "I urge them to eat whole foods; they'll be healthier anyway."

(image from special-needs.families.com - Six Ways to Deal With a Hyperactive Child)

How to discipline my toddler?

2007-11-13T03:45:00.000-08:00

Keep it simple. It's never easy to discipline a child, specially if you're the parent. Discipline doesn't have to mean physically harming the child like spanking. There are many ways to discipline. Before anything though, the first thing you should establish though as a parent is a set of rules that a child can easily understand and follow.

Children aren't acquainted with the more complicated faults and complicated punishments. More often than not, they won't understand it and as a result the punishment itself while effective at that particular instance, may not be effective moving forward because the child cannot relate the punishment to the actual fault. When my daughter was 2, I established only 4 simple rules -

no hurting
no hitting
no throwing
no shouting

This list will tend to grow as your kid grows up as well. But have to start somewhere simple. The rules above are concrete. You can show examples. You can easily explain them. The goal of discipline isn't just to stop the undesirable behavior, although that is one of the primary reasons, the end goal really is for the child to learn that the behavior is undesirable moving forward. So it's very important that your child understand why he/she being punished and what for. Before you have the right to enforce discipline, you should look at yourself as the parent:

As much as you can be consistent. What is punishable now, should also be punishable next time. You cannot be super strict now and then super lenient later on. The child will not learn, and well neither will you
Be reasonable - Always explain to the best of your ability what is going on. This will avoid later confusion for the child
Be understanding - Children are notably mischievous and just plain excitable. You were once a kid too, cut them some slack.
Be patient - Maybe it's not that big a deal, maybe you're just not in the mood. This should not be the reason for punishing your child.
Be timely - if the child does something wrong now then punish now, not later. This will only confuse the child

(image from Stophitting.com),

6-year-old Swims Across 6-km Mactan Channel

2007-11-07T19:55:00.000-08:00

Justin Junio, six years old, will attempt to swim from Hinutungan Island to Lapu-Lapu City today. According to GMA news this will start at 6 a.m. Thursday, his nine-kilometer swim as part of preparations to break the world record for long-distance swimming.

The local Philippine Navy, Coast Guard, and Air Force have prepared assistance for Justin, while the Lapu-Lapu City government prepared ambulances to assist him in case of an emergency.

Justin, who became the youngest swimmer last year to cross the Mactan Channel to Lapu-Lapu, will also dedicate his feat to the patron saint of the province. On October 8 last year, Justin, then 5, overcame cold waters, the strong current and the sorry state of the murky waters to successfully cross the Mactan Channel.

There was some controversy though about his eligibility to hold this record because he apparently had this disorder that gave him an unfair advantage over regular children. I think it was ADHD that spurred a child to have this additional energy reservoir. Anyway, this is an amazing feat and any parent would be proud. I sure would be at nine years old, this child has accomplished amazing things even most adults couldn't do (or are scared to do). And if he really does have this disorder, this even makes him more special.

Here's an image of him with the Senate President of the Philippines the first time he swam the Mactan channel in Cebu, that's 6 km. He was 5 years old then.

Where do I take my kids when I need to go shopping?

2007-11-05T19:14:00.000-08:00

If you want to do your own shopping and don't feel like tagging your kids along, there's always Playroom. It's this pseudo playground set up in malls like Ayala Center Cebu and SM where you can leave your kids for a minimum of about 90 pesos (lower on weekdays and more expensive on weekends). They have a small ball pool, some slides, see-saws and lots of toys for children to play and be pre-occupied while you go shopping. By experience though, my kids never stay there for longer than 1 hour so even if they have an unlimited option it's still not a good idea to let them stay there for so long.

Warning: avoid sticking your kids in playroom on weekends as it is flooded with children - overflowing I tell you. More than 2 dozen kids at a time usually for that obscene price.
These days specially here in Cebu city, there's not much choice in child friendly places. The mall is always a good place to start. There's Ayala Center Cebu which has Timezone, an amusement center where you can play games to earn tickets and exchange them for prizes. It's a little pricey at 11 pesos per game.

There's also SM Cebu which has Timezone counterpart - Storyland. More rides here for children - carousel, train ride in the mall among others. They also have a section where you can play games and win tickets to exchange for prizes. While these are both fun, it is very expensive. For a few hours of play, you'll have to shell out 100 pesos at least. What's worse is that since you're in a mall, there are so many distractions, you are likely to end up buying something in one of the boutiques. But if you're already shopping anyway then you might as well. You'll also eat there more likely so have budget allocated for spending, not only for your own shoppings spree but for your kid's consumption too.

How do I start potty training my toddler?

2007-11-02T04:41:00.000-07:00

Potty training can be difficult. But children actually show start to show interest that they are ready to start using the toilet at about 18 months old.

The key to potty training is to establish a routine. children will naturally gravitate towards regular bowel movements and potty break. This will start out by the child simply telling you that he/ she is about to need to go to the toilet.

Often, parents buy small potty chairs. I did too - three times actually. The first one didn't really appeal to her. The second one plays music when my daughter sits on the toilet, that was fun but didn't last long. The music maker gave in when it got wet. The third one is still being used today actually. This one also plays a song when my daughter pressed this button. It doesn't make a sound anymore but it's still pretty.

Don't be discuoraged at first. children will still have a tendency to wet their pants or their bed for about a few more months and this should be quite natural. I had to get up at dawn a few times to comfort my kid and eventually make sure to ask her if she had to pee. Another option here is to simply not have your kid drink a lot before he/she sleeps.

What to do when my child has a fever?

2007-10-30T20:16:00.000-07:00

Take your child's temperature. Always good to be sure. Never medicate your child unless you are positive of the sickness. And always note the proper dosage. Giving the wrong medication or
wrong dosage of the medication will only make your child sicker. Paracetamol is suggested but
should not be relied upon (common brands Tempra & Calpol).

Get plenty of rest
Increase fluid intake.
Help the child feel comfortable

The goal primarily is normalize the child's temperature. But overall, what any parent would
really like to do is help the child feel better. Other things you can do to relieve your child
are:

Wipe his/her palms, feet and forehead with a damp towel, so he/she doesn't feel so hot
Don't wrap your kid in blankets. If he/she feels hot then allow your child comfortable
clothing
Always notify your pediatrician about your child's condition. Let the doctor know the
symptoms and how long your child had the fever because this will help the doctor and you later on to determine trends and how to deal with it

Most kids get sick every now and then. I often give out this kit to friends of mine who have babies. It's a kit that's composed of a thermometer and medicine dropper, scissors, anti-bacterial gauze for kids - sort of a first-aide for kids. As much as we wouldn't want our kids to get sick, reality is they do. So best to be prepared.

Pushing To Screen For Autism

2007-10-30T03:06:00.000-07:00

Globeandmail.com posted an article on"Autism groups support earlier screening." Canadian autism groups are putting their weight behind an American call for universal screening for the disorder. According to the article the goal is to screen every child twice for autism by the age of 2, warning of symptoms such as failure to babble at nine months and one-year-olds who don't point to toys. The advice is meant to help both parents and doctors spot the disorder sooner. And while there is no cure, experts say that early therapy can lessen its severity.

This should put parents at ease if they find that their children are less responsive while they are young. It should also be able to help in providing therapy for children who need it well in advance. There is no cure for autism yet so any help that can be provided the soonest possible time or to possibly avoid it would just be a breath of fresh air to a lot of parents.

Cough And Cold Medicines Banned For Children Below 6 Years Old

2007-10-26T05:33:00.000-07:00

When we see our kids in pain or struggling to breathe, it is a parent's natural impulse to help a child feel better. More often than not we medicate them with cough and cold medicine when we notice that they are showing symptoms of cough or colds. Manifestations are runny nose, itchy throat and incessant coughing.

Cough and colds are especially common these days because of the weather and what people call the "flu season" even adults feel slightly under the weather (no pun intended)

The Food and Drug Administration though has confirmed that over the counter cold and cough medicines should not be used in children under age six. The prohibition especially highlights medicines that contain antihistamines, cough suppressants and decongestants

Some reasons are due to conflicting results in research that illustrate how effective these medicines are in relation to children below six years old. As we understand the workings of a child's anatomy and health concerns, there have been advances to prove or rather disprove the possible curing effects of such medicines. Problems may also occur from unintentional overdosing - self medication often leads to wrong estimates. Here's a list of the withdrawn cough and cold medicines (this list and the image you see is from CNN.com/health):

Dimetapp

Decongestant Plus Cough Infant Drops
Decongestant Infant Drops

Little Colds

Decongestant Plus Cough
Multi-Symptom Cold Formula

Pediacare

Infant Drops Decongestant (containing pseudoephedrine)
Infant Drops Decongestant & Cough (containing pseudoephedrine)
Infant Dropper Decongestant (containing phenylephrine)
Infant Dropper Long-Acting Cough
Infant Dropper Decongestant & Cough (containing phenylephrine)

Robitussin

Infant Cough DM Drops

Triaminic

Infant & Toddler Thin Strips Decongestant
Infant & Toddler Thin Strips Decongestant Plus Cough

Tylenol

Concentrated Infants' Drops Plus Cold
Concentrated Infants' Drops Plus Cold & Cough

Recent news from ABC2News.com just mentions of a child nearly dying from taking cough medicine.

So just avoid them altogether. Here's what you do if your child has cough and colds:

Give them lots of fluids (this always helps - for young and old alike) - chicken soup or any kind of soup plus healthy juices, not to mention lots and lots of water
Have a humidifier -- this should unclog that stuffy nose
For younger children & babies, use saline nose drops as well, the child may not appreciate this as you try to apply it but it does help clear up nasal congestion
Bed rest - nothing compares to just relaxing; this may not be as difficult for children because believe it or not when they are really feeling sick, they will look strangely behaved
Finally consult your pediatrician